*IPhone rings like a late 90s landline* Wtf?! *answers incredulously* “Hello?”
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*a man who sounds suspiciously like Laurence Fishburne replies* <I need you to pay close attention.>
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“OMG I knew it! The simulation is real! Let’s get this show on the road I’m good to go!”
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<,,,so this is more of a LOST situation. You died in a Toblerone-related accident in 2015.> “Oh,,,well I guess that makes an odd sort of sense lolsob”
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“,,,so wait, this is purgatory? The Good Place’s staging area?” *maniacal laughter* <Of course not. You’re in hell! Every day gets minutely worse, forever.>
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[This story brought to you by: Millennial.]
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