1/ Riffing off this: In general, you can learn through interaction or observation (although the former obv has elements of the latter in it). When you challenge (and assuming sincerity), you select for an interaction.https://twitter.com/polotek/status/1131256161129287680 …
3/ Crudely, learning socially requires a mixture of either, listening and trying to understand / empathize or trying to test your own ideas, which often does require someone else, since it's very easy to fool yourself.
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4/ If the other person didn't ask for the challenge, you're probably in the wrong mode. (Although, *sometimes* being a friend/coworker is knowing when to push.) And if you always challenge, you've introduced some serious biases to the set of messages you're going to receive.
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5/ (And yes, the mixture of communication strategies -- transactional versus receptive/social -- does seem to be gendered.)
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