2/ Ignoring the disregard of the social effects (maybe the person just wanted to express something and be heard), this selection narrows the trajectory of the conversation. So again, even given good faith, the person issuing the challenge often is at odds with their own intents.
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3/ Crudely, learning socially requires a mixture of either, listening and trying to understand / empathize or trying to test your own ideas, which often does require someone else, since it's very easy to fool yourself.
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4/ If the other person didn't ask for the challenge, you're probably in the wrong mode. (Although, *sometimes* being a friend/coworker is knowing when to push.) And if you always challenge, you've introduced some serious biases to the set of messages you're going to receive.
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5/ (And yes, the mixture of communication strategies -- transactional versus receptive/social -- does seem to be gendered.)
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End of conversation
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