I've gotten hundreds of messages from people thanking me so much for writing about autism but somehow the things that stick with me for days are the people RTing it to their friends who all assure each other that I'm just some attention-starved idiot hurting people with lies.
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"All these fake autistics claiming it because it's trendy are just stealing resources from the people who really need the help," they say. Nevermind that nobody is taking any resources from anyone, I'm in fact doing my best to create more resources.
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I get that they're often just filled with self-loathing. I get that this is a nuanced space with overdefined terminology. Is 'autism' a term for a behavioral pathology, or a term for a set of neurodivergent traits? Increasingly it's the latter, but this creates confusion.
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And wherever there is confusion and ambiguity there will be a white boy ready to use it like a cudgel against anyone trying to make sense of the world because who the fuck is anyone, to these monsters, to try to make life more bearable for anyone other than them specifically?
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Anyway I'm sorry to rant, I had a shitty night and woke up to this crap and I'm just going right to the block button every time now. But I'm terrified, since this blew up, that anyone thinks I'm speaking over anyone else. I have been so exceptionally clear on this point.
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TLDR fuck gatekeepers, fuck judgmental assholes, fuck anyone who can look at a group of people with this kind of suicide rate and say "Meh, these posers are just trying to be cool". Your ignorance and contempt hurt me, but they'll hurt you more over time.
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Thank you everyone for your messages of support. I'm okay. I'm just frustrated, but that's part of life. We spend so much effort just trying to keep our heads above water and hearing people on boats complaining about how if we were really struggling we'd be drowned sucks. <3
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Replying to @mykola
I’m away from my desktop and mobile searching is terrible, but
@visakanv has this great quote about his life’s work being figuring out solutions to the asshole problem or something like that. It’s a HARD one — but important because you share a lot of wonderful things!1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes -
Replying to @generativist @visakanv
I think it's a subset of the problem of developing shared cognitive models. Hostility is one approach to a cognitive model mismatch, and it's rooted in fear etc. What if we just granted that a universally shared model was impossible, and sought to remove that expectation?
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That’s one of the patches I want to implement, however locally
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Replying to @generativist @visakanv
I've worked off and on for years on this distributed delta graph data model and the hardest problem to solve has been disambiguating references, e.g. is my `foo` the same as your `foo`? When using UUIDs for everything that disambiguation is really important. But...
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Recently I realized that I can just use human-readable terms for everything, and so when I share some unit of 'meaning' that connects 'foo' to 'bar' I don't need to give you my definitions of 'foo' and 'bar' - you can map them to what you understand them to be.
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