1/ You choose your online handle; it's an identifier that reflects who you are.
You don't choose your birth name; it's a name that reflects who your parents were.
(I'm channeling someone's earlier tweets but I can't find it -- maybe @Aelkus or @sonyaellenmann?)
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Related: it's generally considered good manners to choose 'normal' names -- i.e., names that have so little baggage that they can easily stretch to apply to all sorts of situations. (Ex., my name is also John & I'm sure we're very different!)
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Gendered names & gender pronouns encode a host of more-or-less associated priors, some more relevant than others. Many have only been predictable at birth through enforcement & socialization (like the constellation of behavior norms called 'gender performance').
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