Loneliness is an something deeper. An unmet need to be seen. *And*, to be mutually attached. You can force people to see you. (Or, at least, masks of you.) But, you can’t coerce attachment. (Or, at least, genuine attachment.)
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Harm compounds. Unrecognized loneliness persists. Unacknowledged needs go unmet. Gendered isolation is reinforced. For some, this all transmutes into animosity. Misogyny.
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Assuming this, what can you do? Recognize the self-medication. Acknowledge the loneliness. Decide to fix the problem. Not alleviate the symptoms. Learn about women. ...from women.
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Don’t use that as an exploit. A means of sexual infiltration. Stolen access. And, don’t use it to find a partner. (The male "feminist" approach.) You need to find a basis first. A way to navigate. A cognitive and emotional compass. Both for your sake, and women's.
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I’m writing this with the benefit of time. Cheap hindsight. To be honest, I was lucky. I had a lot of close women friends. Real inter-gender intimacy. I had a decent basis. Disused in some contexts, but functional. I recently realized lots of my friends didn’t.
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That’s why I’m writing this. I'm trying to cope with my alienation from them. They curdled as people. Development, arrested. Some former brothers resemble stunted children. Their confusion metastasized. It generated general social deterrence. All manner of connections dissolved.
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You want to avoid that. Mid-thirties bodies. Teenage maturity. It’s a bad combination. A recipe for perpetual loneliness. An accidental, self-imposed exile.
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End of conversation
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