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  1. Mar 31

    The concept of a "Wind Advisory" seems very LA

  2. Mar 28

    Get rich or drunk trying

  3. Mar 6

    I think my stomach is trying to tell me something about spicy food

  4. Jan 20

    Screw you, GOP. Scared of you, Donald. But Melania? Werrrrrk! Can I be a pore on your squinty face?

  5. Jan 17

    I'm just gonna yell "FAKE NEWS!" at people who disagree with me

  6. 23 Nov 2016

    Ugh, I hate Amy Adams season

  7. 14 Nov 2016

    Knope vs. Newport...eerie

  8. 10 Nov 2016

    Beware of easy answers and simple truths. There are a lot floating around right now.

  9. 7 Nov 2016

    Hi, I was promised an extra hour of sleep. I'd like a refund.

  10. 3 Nov 2016

    Oh, I know! Let's watch an episode of black mirror then try to go to sleep. What could possibly go wrong?

  11. 26 Oct 2016

    How did I end up accidentally choosing a costume that requires eyeliner two years in a row when I have a VERY sensitive water line?

  12. 12 Oct 2016

    The audible ringtones in this hospital waiting room are 👌🏼

  13. 11 Oct 2016

    It's 2016. Cars literally drive themselves, but if you try to open the door while someone unlocks it you're SOL

  14. Retweeted
    9 Oct 2016

    "How will you protect my job as a card in Guess Who?"

  15. Retweeted
    9 Oct 2016

    HRMMM USING ALLEGED ABUSED WOMEN TO TORTURE A WOMAN WHO WAS CHEATED ON TO REPAIR YOUR IMAGE AS A PERPETRATOR OF SEXUAL AGGRESSION / ASSAULT

  16. 3 Oct 2016

    What has to happen to a person to become a person who just reposts quick cooking videos all day?

  17. 3 Oct 2016

    Prediction: this time next year chain wallets will be back in fashion

  18. 8 Sep 2016

    What did one do to deserve so many farting uber drivers?

  19. 8 Sep 2016

    I'm just gonna put this here where no one can see. The burning man posts are making my eyes bleed.

  20. 10 Dec 2015

    Designer friendz, this app icon design template is quite bomb by

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