This soup recipe is the one I call Health Potion because it always makes Being Sick turn into Being Alright way faster Or maybe it doesn't, I don't know, it's soup, whaddaya want
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First thing's first, get a big ol' pot. Don't ask me how many quarts it is, okay, it's soup amount of quarts. Boil some chicken stock in there, or if you're like me, boil a bunch of water and then add a big schloop of Better Than Bouillion.pic.twitter.com/hmiD9AeSMU
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Break the arms off a little ginger man and peel off the don't-eat parts and then turn 'em into some discs and some bits. Toss 'em in the Jacuzzi.pic.twitter.com/ESLRaUU3DS
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Next up, an illegal amount of garlic. Enough that you're like 'that's too much, right?' SHUT UP, NO IT'S NOT Anyway half the cloves get sliced into lil' circles, the other half gets quartered. The quarters go in the Jacuzzi to bond with the ginger.pic.twitter.com/ZC1iB44yDs
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Drop in An Amount of whole mustardseeds and whole peppercorns. They'll soften and do Good Things to the flavors. Also, squeeze a lime in there because you are the master of your own destiny.pic.twitter.com/Pwjj2vTP3x
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Add these Flavor Things, in order from A Fuckton to A Smidge. Then put 'er on a low simmer. Try to remember how long it's been since you took your last dose of Tylenol. Wonder if your liver is going to be okay.pic.twitter.com/7aWAzDf7KV
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MEANWHILE ON THE FRONT BURNER Turn an onion into a lot of little onion shards and then drop that, your sliced garlic, and a bunch of oil onto a hot thing with salt and pepperpic.twitter.com/WGWvSmrVpU
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Add some celery. Why? I don't fucking know. I don't know why I put celery into soup. Does it add nuance? Or something? I don't know, just do itpic.twitter.com/SGH4ltD95I
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Remember that you have some fancy mushrooms in the fridge that are probably getting old. Add them, too. Such is man.pic.twitter.com/vQ3ggDAfSS
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Once that whole deal starts to smell good, smoosh in a few bone-in skin-on chicken thighs. Salt, Pepper, Brown 'em on both sides.pic.twitter.com/7NzTyIc4dp
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When the chicken is browned on both sides, put everything from the pan into the pot along with a grain thing. I like to use Acini de Pepe because it puffs up all big, but y'know, follow your star.pic.twitter.com/hu4DTj5sPp
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Let the whole thing simmer for however long it takes you to brew a giant mug of tea, drink the tea, and apologize to the dog for not letting him eat the clove of garlic you dropped on the floor.pic.twitter.com/guj1jllYmh
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If the puppy has forgiven you for not letting him EAT POISON, it's probably time to pull out the chicken and turn it into spoon-friendly pieces. DON'T YOU DARE THROW THOSE BONES AWAY, PUT THEM BACK IN THE FUCKING POT RIGHT THIS MINUTEpic.twitter.com/kfQjG0xm3z
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Awwwww yissssss y'all can skim off the fat if you don't like good flavors but I'm all about that gallstone lifestyle so I leave it inpic.twitter.com/NBm1qeB5ES
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There you go, Health Potion Soup. I cut up some chives to make this picture look fancy for the internet, but you do you. Recommended alternative garnish: two Nyquil and a big quilt.pic.twitter.com/akG0I9gaq3
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Epilogue: Look at This Chubby Lil Friend GOOD THING I WASHED THE DANG CHIVESpic.twitter.com/bpl4revyUd
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