How about - The last time I put on a bathing suit was 1999, and I didn't look good then.
"I'm ninety percent cement." 11 Pool Party Excuse Cards To Save You From Embarrassment http://bit.ly/28Ta0bl pic.twitter.com/1vvhFM9bRH
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Think I used ALL those excusez
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"I'm not superstitious, but everytime i put on a bathing suit a poor innocent sloth dies!"
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