Ted Cruz wipes standing up
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I heard he wipes back to front
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Huge if true
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But he pee's sitting down
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My brother says he has to stand up when he poops because his dick is so big that he doesn't wanna get shit on it. But Ted Cruz has a baby dick, my brother specified. So the mystery continues.
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I heard he wears west ham socks in bed.
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Ted Cruz wipes barehand-vertical so he can enjoy the clay-like feel on his skin, his fingers; mashing & rolling for proper scent sampling. Sometimes he makes a mask, staring into the mirror while whispering, "There is an idea of a Ted Cruz, some kind of abstraction...
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“...but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.”
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I just ate like 10 mini Twix bars in the last 3 hours. This is an urgent communique
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I do the captain morgan when I wipe same thing?
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