Skip to content
By using Twitter’s services you agree to our Cookies Use. We and our partners operate globally and use cookies, including for analytics, personalisation, and ads.
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
funnyordie's profile
Funny Or Die
Funny Or Die
Funny Or Die
Verified account
@funnyordie

Tweets

Funny Or DieVerified account

@funnyordie

Will Ferrell is our boss. We love to make you laugh.

Hollywood, Ca
funnyordie.com
Joined August 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    Funny Or Die‏Verified account @funnyordie Sep 17

    Ted Cruz wipes standing up

    2:30 PM - 17 Sep 2018
    • 78 Retweets
    • 539 Likes
    • Eduardo Lorita Vanicik Janae Lillie Parsons Averie Larsen Lily Martin Eladia Politti Harmony Howell Cee Nguyen
    42 replies 78 retweets 539 likes
      1. Funny Or Die‏Verified account @funnyordie Sep 17

        This important investigative reporting came from our anonymous tip line. Do you have info the world needs to know? Get in touch.

        10 replies 6 retweets 57 likes
        Show this thread
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. SA‏ @ScottRAnson Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        But pees sitting down

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Lee‏ @leeeeeleeele Sep 17
        Replying to @ScottRAnson @funnyordie

        THERE IS NOTHING WEIRD ABOUT MEN PEEING WHILE SITTING DOWN less splash, more comfort

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. papabear‏ @P4PAbear Sep 17
        Replying to @leeeeeleeele @ScottRAnson @funnyordie

        If more men cleaned their own bathroom they’d pee sitting down.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Chris‏ @LCSeward Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        I call BS, Ted Cruz has never stood for anything ...

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. mike "amok amok amok" miller‏ @OtherMikeMiller Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        back to front too

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Stone Bone‏ @BigBoneStone Sep 17
        Replying to @OtherMikeMiller @funnyordie

        And they call him cocoa nuts! 🤣

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Jeff‏ @jfulginiti Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        pic.twitter.com/WEJWMHWV6Y

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sir Dr. John Vonn E. Sullivan, DDS MD PHD‏ @wayofthedodo Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        Ted Cruz does not wipe.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Izak King Sal Pettis‏ @MrKingKrab23 Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        Yes his pussy

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Humble American‏ @american_humble Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        Considering it's his mouth he's wiping, that's not all that impressive

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Viktor James‏ @dewygewdness Sep 17
        Replying to @american_humble @funnyordie

        This took me longer to get than it should have, but it was worth it.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Humble American‏ @american_humble Sep 18
        Replying to @dewygewdness @funnyordie

        Happens to the best of us

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Kevin McIntyre‏ @kevinmack83 Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        And from back to front. That's why he's constantly having infections down there.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. TimHansson‏ @novembermoon24 Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        It just makes sense to wipe standing up... I mean, why would you sit down when you're done pooping?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Elon's Musk‏ @stix_tommy Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        Ted Cruz poopies in the urinal

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Satanica‏ @SatanicaTweets Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        So does my ex

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Stream the Vote‏ @StreamtheVote Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        How else do you wipe?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Hmm‏ @LindsaySue2 Sep 17
        Replying to @funnyordie

        Pics or it’s not true

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info