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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    27. pro 2018.

    Steven: Good evening Stephen: Good ephening

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    My birth control method is my general appearance

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    Daughter: Alexa play Let it Go. Me: when I was your age I had to call the radio station, wait on hold for 30 mins to request a song, then sit by my boom box for an hour with a blank cassette tape for my song to play so I could record it. Daughter: I don’t know what that means.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    [every episode of the flash] flash: i am the fastest man alive villain: [is faster] flash: fuck. i'll have to get even faster

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    My super power is the ability to exactly clap all the clapping parts of any song.

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    if someone finds my voodoo doll please shave its legs

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    The same people who tell you to follow your dreams are the ones who are all ‘surprised’ when you show up to do a presentation buck naked. Do not trust these people. Stay woke and follow zero dreams.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    27. sij

    Privet Drive implies the existence of Prvet Drve and Prviet Drvie and Prviiet Drviie ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵃᶜᶜᵉᵖᵗ ᵐʸ ᵃᵖᵒˡᵒᵍᶦᵉˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵗᵉʳʳᶦᵇˡᵉ ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗ

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. lip 2019.

    Veni, vidi, vici - I came, I saw, I conquered Vidi, vito, veni - I saw Danny Devito and came

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    17. sij
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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. lis 2019.

    it takes a village, or it gets the hose again

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. ruj 2019.

    when u call your boyfriend to tell him u just got vajazzled

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. stu 2019.

    YOUR KNEES ARE HAUNTED YOUR KNEES ARE POSSESSED YOUR KNEES TURN INTO WEREKNEES EVERY FULL MOON noooooo 😭😭😭 tune in next week for another episode of Superkneetral

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. stu 2019.

    the first thing you see in the mirror is the back of your own head and you realise you're in Paris and you're wearing a beret and you're secretly French and then you put a firecracker in some cheese and it explodes and there's nothing left but de brie

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. ruj 2019.

    genie: 1st wish? me: a degree genie: done. 2nd wish? me: a degree genie: dumbass, why not ask for 2 degrees with wish 1? ok you now have 2 degrees. 3rd wish? me: a degree genie: ARE YOU MAD ARE YOU STUPID, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS me: dude you're giving me the third degree :/

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    15. srp 2019.

    the thing about doing a kink test online is sometimes you get questions like 'do you want to be treated like a urinal' and I'm like no but also i kinda love it when people put a cake in me so... maybe?

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. stu 2019.

    i need help with my VIBE Vibrator In my Butt Extraction

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. srp 2019.

    "Are you ready to rock?" Scissors: no

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. kol 2019.

    life sucks but remember this is just the second playthrough where you make all the wrong choices just to see what'll happen

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    8. lip 2019.

    Indiana Jones: It belongs in a museum! Me: *running away* Leave my sexy booty alone

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. srp 2019.

    [sequel to Thor Ragnarok] me: *buying tickets for me and 3 friends* FOUR FOR THOR 4 at 4:44, POR FAVOR cinema guy: please stop doing this

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