btw if twitter does die (unlikely imo) yall can come over to my house ive got popcorn and a dog. my mom wont mind im sure
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martin thee lesbian
@friendlyhag
pj/martin/jules, 26, she/they. jewish, lesbian, commie, taurus, nerd, etc. im not pretentious im literally just like this.
martin thee lesbian’s Tweets
one of my favorite hobbies is watching a movie and picking one character to hate oh so much and every time they talk i say “stab. knife. kill.” and sometimes i look up how tall the actor is so i can estimate whether i could roundhouse kick them in the face.
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You are not entitled to a child-free experience in public spaces. That children are occasionally disruptive to you is not a justification for harassing them and their caregivers out of public life. Consider using your adult coping skills that are unavailable to them and stfu.
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please don't refer to me as an 'anti' i prefer 'judgmental bitch' like if you're gonna pick that hill to die on then just call it what it is
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[birds tweeting outside bc it is early morning]
me: oh, worm?
[birds all very abruptly turn to look at me with intense hunger in their eyes]
me: wait no i didn't mean an actual worm it's ju-
[extended sounds of brutal bird attack]
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I'm sick to death of this particular self. I want another.
Virigina Woolf, Orlando
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student debt relief and lgbtq,
dark side of the moon and actress lucy liu,
of all of the topics that could be trending,
these are a few of my favorite things
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yeah mate ive got a bunch of bleeding disorders.. bleeding mental disorders innit
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the princess bride has all the representation we need:
Lots of sword fighting
Giant/Spaniard relationship
Big fucking rats
Twue wuv
Queen of slime. queen of filth. queen of putrescence
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Sometimes the only thing standing between me and full misandry is this video
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im gonna get a little locket and wear it around my neck every day and on the inside im just gonna have a little piece of paper that says "that was a futurama reference" and whenever anyone looks at me funny after i say something i will simply open the locket by way of explanation
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whenever I think about it again I am actually deeply disturbed by the way amber heard was treated last year by literally everyone, it really made me realise how much of the progress that’s been supposedly made for women was just complete bullshit
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when will y'all stop trying to make a coherent class out of every group of people linked by one trait, and then force that nonexistent class into an oppressed/oppressor dichotomy that literally only works in specific contexts
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Giving love out there for the lLGBTQIA today. Just because.
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chag christmas sameach to all my goyische followers who celebrate 💛
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Gumby this is a boneheaded move
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"the only person who decides your gender for you is you". this is only true most of the time. sometimes hot butch dykes decide your gender for you instead. lucky you
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in 2015, a week before my 18th birthday, i saw tMG for the first time at the majestic. excited to return to the same spot a week before my 26th birthday and feel emotions heretofore unknown to man or beast.
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tour dates are listed & pre-sale codes are available -- more here: mountain-goats.com/tour
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every time i make a to-do list in my private disco server just for me i go back and strike out each item when im done and when ive done everything on the list i bestow a clapping emoji on myself
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marx failed to anticipate 90% THC concentrate. it doesn't affect the validity of his work or anything he just didn't bring it up
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obsessed w the “Technically,” like did you count? did you make everyone freeze so you could count the exact proportion of people who were booing? or do you have a guy for that?
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singing “this book is a downer” to the tune of “this girl is on fire” bringing levity to the situation to mitigate the egregious downerness of the book
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melinoe: hey, aphrodite. i was talking to sappho. apparently you "overcame her with longing for a girl"?
aphrodite: yeah it was pretty funny. down so bad she couldn't even weave. fuck im good at my job.
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if i had a nickel for every time my favorite character in a thing i loved had a middle initial that i got overly attached to that was later revealed to stand for nothing, thus ruining my life, i would have two nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it's happened twice.
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amazing medieval words you should definitely add to your vocabulary, a thread:
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youve heard of elf on a shelf, now get ready for – oh, wait, you havent heard of elf on a shelf? no problem. i can explain if you have the time. awesome. so are you familiar with bentham's panopticon?
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me: tumblr is a cesspool
me, in my head: [zoidberg voice] still, to have your own pool!
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does anybody else really need this today im doling them out like candy
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