Assault the second: while attending a party at a neighbouring all-male college, I went into the halls to find the bathroom. One of the doors to a nearby room opened as I passed, revealing a dude who I vaguely recognised from earlier. He called me over to him. (cont.)
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This sort of opportunism is part of their learning process: they're learning how to ask what "no" means by testing its boundaries. Does "stop throwing the ball" mean "stop throwing it really high inside," or "stop throwing it where I can see it?" But adults KNOW what it means.
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Adults, unlike little kids, are able to read context cues and are eloquent enough to ask for clarification in the event of confusion or uncertainty. Like a child, an adult might not WANT to stop throwing the metaphorical ball, but they still understand what "stop throwing" means.
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But when it comes to vulnerable people, a great many adults regress to that childlike, opportunistic selfishness where their own wants are deliberately put ahead of what they otherwise understand.
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A parent who teaches their child to say "please" and "thank you" at home might easily deny those courtesies to a service worker. A bro who reacts with hostility to being hugged or touched by relatives without warning might persistently grab at unwilling girls at parties.
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I've wandered away from my point a bit, but to summarise: - abuse/assault are defined by actions, not traumatic reactions - selfish opportunism fuels a lot of abuse & shitty behaviour - different people react differently, but we still need common standards for law & courtesy
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