The fact that @Marvel thinks it's humanly possible to tell a superhero story without any political elements or "social issues" is the perfect, mind-numbingly unironic capstone to the year 2017 https://www.theverge.com/tldr/2017/12/28/16827356/marvel-comics-create-your-own-platform-terms-restrictions …
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I mean, why would superhero stories need POLITICS and SOCIAL ISSUES, of all the crazy things? It's not like any of that SJW bullshit is CANON, right?
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Sure, Black Widow is ex-KGB and Clint Barton is deaf and Iron Man stopped selling guns because it was morally wrong and Magneto was in a concentration camp in Nazi Germany and Captain America is literally a political mascot created by the government, but NO. SOCIAL. ISSUES.
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Like, it's actually hard to be mad at this list of narrative restrictions they're preemptively placing on stories they want created for free and which they're hoping will be so good that owning all the rights will make them money, because. it's. SUCH a bad idea???
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It's like they decided that, since fanfic & comic memes aren't going anywhere, they gotta monetise that shit, only taking ownership means they CAN'T RISK OFFENDING ANYBODY because who KNOWS what those crazy kids might make??? THEY COULD GIVE WOLVERINE AN ADAMANTIUM DICK-CLAW!
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Worse still, the ADAMANTIUM DICK-CLAW might go VIRAL with MARVEL'S LOGO on it! Oh noes!! The six Disney execs in a trenchcoat who run One Million Moms might get SUPER MAD! So Marvel's like, NOT IN *MY* CHRISTIAN HOUSE (but without knowing that's a meme) and summons their lawyers.
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So the lawyers draw up this LABORIOUS LIST of things they've heard that human children do for fun (when they're not busy FORNICATING or DEFILING LAWNS or defiling lawns WITH fornication) - a list which comprises, in its literal entirety, 99% of Things That Make Memes Work.
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(The final 1% is millennial depression aesthetic surrealist dada humour, and the only reason that's not on the list is because the lawyers wrote it off as young people not knowing what words mean or how to spell.)
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And now Marvel's like, honestly rubbing its hands in anticipation of all those fans who love Deadpool & Wolverine making them some deliciously copyrighted free content, which is basically like printing MEME CASH-MONEY, without any dicks or swearing or queerness or guns or death.
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@Marvel; See, kids? You can still make your crazy internet jokes for free, only you can't use any swears or reference half the canon, and WE'LL own your work forever! Isn't this fun? Fandom, maintaining direct eye contact while making graphic Stucky slash: eat our entire ass0 replies 0 retweets 12 likesShow this threadThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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