SLATHER IT
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Him: So do I put it on before I shower or after? Me: After. Him: OK. And do I have to like, rub it off again? Me: You rub it in. Him: Ohhhh.
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Hahahahahahahaha!!!!! *rolls on floor*
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I can't. I CANT! I rebuke this
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IT REALLY HAPPENED
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Step 1: apply to area of interest Step 2: do anything else because you're finished
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I hope you said "it puts the lotion on its skin..."

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A missed opportunity!
End of conversation
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