Sweet Jesus, the copy on this job placement for Riverside Marine makes me want to fucking CRY. ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE.pic.twitter.com/C02AJAi1w7
Author, fanwriter, trash bandit, queer geek feminist, dork. Jack of all pronouns, mxtress of none. Yells about hockey. Aussie in the US.
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Sweet Jesus, the copy on this job placement for Riverside Marine makes me want to fucking CRY. ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE.pic.twitter.com/C02AJAi1w7
Let me note straight up that they specifically want someone who's "Highly fluent and articulate in the English Language - written and oral."
HAHAHA LET ME LIE DOWN AND DIE, I CRAVE THE SWEET RELEASE OF DEATH.
It's an admin role, except they want to call you a Quality Connector, which I swear to god is right out of a Dilbert strip.
Just look at that copy. Look at it. Random ampersands! Random capitalisation of certain words! A SWATHE OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE JARGON.
They want you to have the "ability to implement use of initiative," a sentence construction that makes me want to spork my eyes out.
Like I just. There is not a single sentence in this entire job description that doesn't give out creepy Stepford vibes.
I almost want to apply for the sole purpose of seeing the questionnaire they apparently send out to applicants. I HAVE A MORBID CURIOUS.
I'M APPLYING, I've got to see what the fuck is in this questionnaire because I HAVE MY SUSPICIONS.
Like, okay. Ordinarily when you apply for jobs on Seek, where this is, if the employer has extra questions they want answered, then APPLY -
- takes you to a new webpage, so you can fill the details out on another site. But these guys want to *email* you the extra questionnaire.
Coupled with the fact that their twitter account, still linked on the main company page, hasn't been updated since 2014?
I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that whoever's running their website and/or job placements is kinda shitty at using the internet.
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