The point being, knowing there are actual definitions and precedents for very personal feelings - shit it's hard to explain - is SO HELPFUL.
-
-
Replying to @fozmeadows
I don't have to say "I felt like my torso was invisible & insensate, my consciousness remotely steering from behind my head"- there's a word
1 reply 0 retweets 1 like -
Replying to @fozmeadows
Just like I don't have to say "the thought of getting dressed left me nauseated, wanting to rip off my skin w. the wrongness of it" either.
1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes -
Replying to @fozmeadows
The thing I'm discovering as I get more words for my established issues & behaviours is how many iffy workarounds I've always had for them.
1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes -
Replying to @fozmeadows
Meaning: here is a thing I was vaguely aware of as A Problem, but because I didn't think it was real, I left it unaddressed except for X.
1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes -
Replying to @fozmeadows
Classic example: I bite/tear/worry my fingernails as an anxious habit. Have done since I was a kid. So now, I keep nail-clippers everywhere.
1 reply 0 retweets 1 like -
Replying to @fozmeadows
Nail clippers don't stop whatever it is that makes my nail-mistreatment a compulsion. It just means I don't damage my body by doing it.
1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes -
Replying to @fozmeadows
Ditto as a teen w. dysphoria: I didn't know that's what it was, just that certain clothes had to be reserved for certain days to feel sane.
1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes -
Replying to @fozmeadows
It never used to make sense to me, how many clothes I had for someone who a) viscerally hates clothes shopping and b) isn't into fashion.
1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes -
Replying to @fozmeadows
I'd always try to turf stuff out, but hang onto particular seldom-worn items b/c some days they felt "necessary". I didn't understand it.
1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
What I recognise now - particularly today - is that my urge to buy clothes is usually tied to feeling strongly dysphoric. I want to change.
-
-
Replying to @fozmeadows
The problem is that going shopping while dysphoric has a 50/50 chance of making it SO MUCH WORSE. This happened today; hence dissociating.
1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes -
Replying to @fozmeadows
You know that urban legend about the frog boiling to death because it keeps adjusting to hotter & hotter water? That's my mental landscape.
1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes - Show replies
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.