The worst time was this: he and another boy were smashing cars together; my son got carried away & whacked him. So I called out, etc.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
The other kid was clearly upset, but his mother was annoyed at him for not shrugging it off. Told him it was barely a hit, it didn't matter.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
I don't know remember if it was her or her partner who told him that boys were tough, to man up about it; only that it made me feel sick.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
This kid was FOUR, tops. And he was being told to accept being hit by a bigger, stronger kid as an okay thing, the right way to be a boy.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
People see me hovering over my tall, strong kid and they think it's ridiculous, because they think, "Oh, but he can take care of himself!"
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Motherfucker, I KNOW he can take care of himself. I'm trying to teach him how to use that strength RESPONSIBLY, so he doesn't hurt YOUR kid.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
And the fact that so many people *do not get this* - that they expect some Natural Child Order to just sort it all out - really upsets me.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
This thread has kind of gotten away from me a bit - I have a lot of Feelings about this, obviously - but I'm going to try & tie it together.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
1) Babies aren't babies forever. 2) Children at different ages need different things. 3) Kids don't learn manners in a fucking vacuum.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Normalising & excusing my son's worst behaviour because he's a "typical boy" isn't just a sexist failure; it's an insult to his complexity.
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If I were to accept his hitting as gender-based and inevitable, I'd be doing both him and his development a disservice.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
I am not a perfect parent; I suspect there's no such animal. But on this one point, I feel I'm doing right: he can learn to play nicely.
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