He's always been big, he's physically really strong, he was slightly slower to speak than some his age - and, as some toddlers do, he hits.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
He's also an only child who, due to various contextual factors, was really undersocialised when we lived in the UK. (That's a diff. story.)
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Which means that, when he plays with other kids now, I'm very aware of a) his ability to hurt them and b) the need to teach him to NOT.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
This means I am somewhat eagle-eyed when he's playing. If I see him hit, I pull him aside, ask him to apologise and explain why it's bad.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Happily, this seems to be working. He loves to play, and he's really very sweet - he's just still learning sharing, manners, all that stuff.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
And yet, so often, there are parents who just... find it odd? That I do this? And I honestly DO NOT GET IT.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
I don't mean parents who accept that yes, sometimes kids hit and that's a thing you have to deal with, and give you an understanding smile.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
I mean parents who laugh off the fact that he hits as fine because he's a boy or who act as though toddlers should just self-police hitting.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Parents who, when I ask my kid to apologise to their child for hitting them, tell me that he doesn't have to. And every time, I just. What?
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Replying to @fozmeadows
In that moment, the point isn't us adults understands that little kids hit. It matters to THE OTHER KID to know that they shouldn't be hurt.
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Today, my son was playing with another little boy, about his age, both quite rough and tumble. I watched to keep an eye on it all.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
At different times, both of them hurt each other. When my son was responsible, I reminded him not to hit and asked him to apologise. He did.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
The other boy's mother laughed and exclaimed how good it was that my son would apologise; hers wouldn't! But she *never asked him to do it*.
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