The kid pushes back; you want them to listen to you, so part of you wants to escalate in turn. And then you think - does this really matter?
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Every day. Over and over. Trying to reevaluate behaviour & expectations - his & mine - to better fit an ever-changing developmental context.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Which is why, to return to a point, I find it so confronting when parents of little kids especially don't seem aware that they're growing.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Like, not growing in the literal physical sense - that's obvious - but in terms of their needs, their autonomy, their ability to learn.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
And, somewhat specifically, the idea that you need some kind of balance between helicoptering over kids and leaving them totally alone.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Like. Okay. My kid, who is three, is the size of a five or six-year-old. We've met literal schoolchildren who are smaller than him.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
He's always been big, he's physically really strong, he was slightly slower to speak than some his age - and, as some toddlers do, he hits.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
He's also an only child who, due to various contextual factors, was really undersocialised when we lived in the UK. (That's a diff. story.)
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Which means that, when he plays with other kids now, I'm very aware of a) his ability to hurt them and b) the need to teach him to NOT.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
This means I am somewhat eagle-eyed when he's playing. If I see him hit, I pull him aside, ask him to apologise and explain why it's bad.
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Happily, this seems to be working. He loves to play, and he's really very sweet - he's just still learning sharing, manners, all that stuff.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
And yet, so often, there are parents who just... find it odd? That I do this? And I honestly DO NOT GET IT.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
I don't mean parents who accept that yes, sometimes kids hit and that's a thing you have to deal with, and give you an understanding smile.
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