The older my son gets, I'm discovering, the more I enjoy his company, because there's more we can do together. And from playground meetings-
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Replying to @fozmeadows
- with older kids, I've learned that I really, genuinely enjoy talking to and interacting with primary-aged and older children. Who knew?
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Basically, what I'm saying is: it's totally cool that some people really love babies *in particular*, but it's not a parental requisite.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Sidebar: there's a thing some people do with babies, where they enjoy their passivity/helplessness because it makes them easy accessories.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Which, on its own, is fine - babyness is a stage to be dealt with! My objection comes when parents resent this loss as the kid gets older.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
I am very much not a perfect parent. I spend a great deal of time worrying that I'm really terrible at it and feeling hellish as a result.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Being a parent has shown me defects in my character I never knew I had, made me realise I can be impatient, exacting, quick-tempered.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
For someone who's always considered themselves domestically easygoing, if not outright slobby, realising I have some hard limits was WEIRD.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
I give zero fucks about clothes and towels on the floor, for instance, but dropped food - a thing adults don't do so much? That GETS TO ME.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
And realising that has made me reevaluate myself. I'm constantly trying to figure out "is this actually a bad thing, or just a bugbear?".
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It is so very easy as a parent - and often tempting - to double down on an arbitrary verdict or irritation just to seem consistent.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
The kid pushes back; you want them to listen to you, so part of you wants to escalate in turn. And then you think - does this really matter?
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Every day. Over and over. Trying to reevaluate behaviour & expectations - his & mine - to better fit an ever-changing developmental context.
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