Even taking that into account, I think I can state pretty firmly now that tiny babies? Not my thing. I do not really enjoy them.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
And that is OK! It is OK to be a parent and not love babies, because the thing about babies is that they grow up. It's kinda the point.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
But there is *so much pressure* on mothers in particular, & on afab folks perceived as mothers, to think that tiny babies are the BEST EVER.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
The older my son gets, I'm discovering, the more I enjoy his company, because there's more we can do together. And from playground meetings-
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Replying to @fozmeadows
- with older kids, I've learned that I really, genuinely enjoy talking to and interacting with primary-aged and older children. Who knew?
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Basically, what I'm saying is: it's totally cool that some people really love babies *in particular*, but it's not a parental requisite.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Sidebar: there's a thing some people do with babies, where they enjoy their passivity/helplessness because it makes them easy accessories.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Which, on its own, is fine - babyness is a stage to be dealt with! My objection comes when parents resent this loss as the kid gets older.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
I am very much not a perfect parent. I spend a great deal of time worrying that I'm really terrible at it and feeling hellish as a result.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Being a parent has shown me defects in my character I never knew I had, made me realise I can be impatient, exacting, quick-tempered.
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For someone who's always considered themselves domestically easygoing, if not outright slobby, realising I have some hard limits was WEIRD.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
I give zero fucks about clothes and towels on the floor, for instance, but dropped food - a thing adults don't do so much? That GETS TO ME.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
And realising that has made me reevaluate myself. I'm constantly trying to figure out "is this actually a bad thing, or just a bugbear?".
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