It’s 1.25am on a random Wednesday a year plus into quarantine, so naturally I’ve decided to watch Saw for the first time. Two minutes in and the one man stage show at University vibes are INCREDIBLE.
What the fuck even is this dialogue? Also I’m putting in an early bet on Dr Lawrence secretly being the evil mastermind or whatever.
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Oh my god Lawrence sounds EXACTLY like an NPC from Return to Zork.
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The longer this goes on, the more it feels like dialogue from the opening of a cheap horror game, where Lawrence is the NPC giving your player character clues on how to explore the room.
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“I’ll start from the beginning” oh yeah this is intro to cutscene dialogue
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who the fuck is this knockoff american cary elwes NPC actor
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is this film meant to be boring as hell? because it’s boring as hell
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oh joy, a flashback within a flashback as we jump POV, godDAMN this is poorly structured
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Half an hour in and I’m stopping (at least for tonight) bc this film is absolute trash and I’m bored shitless.
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Verdict: Saw is trying to be Seven but without the script, the psychology or the acting.
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IM HOWLING YOURE TELLING ME THAT WAS FOR REAL CAREY ELWES? Dhehdhehdhd




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I’ve read the Wikipedia summary rather than subject myself to the rest of it and honestly I think that counts as self-care
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End of conversation
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