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fozmeadows's profile
Foz Meadows
Foz Meadows
Foz Meadows
@fozmeadows

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Foz Meadows

@fozmeadows

Author, fanwriter, trash bandit, queer geek feminist, dork. Jack of all pronouns, mxtress of none. Yells about hockey. Aussie in the US.

Irvine, CA
fozmeadows.wordpress.com
Joined February 2009

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    1. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows Mar 15

      thinking today about how the same antidepressant I take can also be prescribed to treat ADHD, and how certain brainstuff I'd thought was innate to me and which predated my depression has become easier to deal with since I started taking it. you know. just Thoughts one has.

      2 replies 0 retweets 81 likes
      Show this thread
      Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows Mar 15

      things like: here is a seemingly simple, very necessary but nonetheless Paralyzing Task I must perform. doing so is difficult and anxiety-inducing out of all proportion to what the thing is, and always has been - until I started taking meds, and somehow this became easier.

      12:42 AM - 15 Mar 2021
      • 31 Likes
      • Uncle k8, Public Universal Frenemy 🏳️‍⚧️ 🏳️‍🌈 mimi mondal🏳️‍🌈✊🏾🏳️‍⚧️ Meagan Black Kranzi Kranzhuber Maia Jackie Loyd (✒️as Jacquelyn Bartel) Mariette A Quotidian Mind One of the cats
      1 reply 0 retweets 31 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows Mar 15

          things like: I cannot choose the direction of my focus. I'm either interested or I'm not, and if I'm not, it's like shoving a rock uphill to get my brain to engage - until I started taking meds, and now it's that crucial bit easier to *make* myself Do A Thing.

          1 reply 0 retweets 32 likes
          Show this thread
        3. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows Mar 15

          I didn't notice these other changes at first; I'd been depressed for long enough, in such difficult circumstances, that I could barely remember what it had felt like to function otherwise, and there were other health issues in the way, too. but once I figured it out -

          1 reply 0 retweets 23 likes
          Show this thread
        4. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows Mar 15

          - suddenly it's all these little things, like, 'huh. X used to be more difficult, didn't it?' and there's no other appreciable reason why I'd suddenly be finding it easier.

          1 reply 0 retweets 22 likes
          Show this thread
        5. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows Mar 15

          I'm hesitant to label myself. it feels like a way of saying, 'all these mental processes and behaviours that I've come to see as self-defining are not unique to me, and therefore, somehow, don't count as being truly mine if I attribute them to something else.' and yet.

          3 replies 0 retweets 29 likes
          Show this thread
        6. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows Mar 15

          and yet, it's hard not to notice patterns, once one has the relevant information. it's hard not to think, 'how much of me is patterns? how much of me came pre-installed, and how much of that is mental bloatware?'

          1 reply 1 retweet 29 likes
          Show this thread
        7. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows Mar 15

          I'll tell you what, being stuck inside for a fucking year because of a global pandemic does tend to make one introspect! I just. brains are odd, and sometimes we acclimate to our own oddness so thoroughly that we don't always realise how odd it is, until it's thrown into relief.

          2 replies 0 retweets 31 likes
          Show this thread
        8. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows Mar 15

          genuinely wondering how much of my personality in school would've been pathologised or pushed back against by teachers, rather than seen as charming, if I wasn't a white afab student with an advanced vocabulary

          1 reply 0 retweets 29 likes
          Show this thread
        9. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows Mar 15

          fwiw I wrote this thread instead of getting up and getting a drink, which I've wanted for the past half hour, because The Stars Were Not In Position For Getting A Drink

          1 reply 0 retweets 32 likes
          Show this thread
        10. End of conversation

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