Among other things said about this book was that depressed people were just not sexy. *cue greater depression*
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There were many problems with that book (and while I have published a book with the same characters and the same names, the book I turned in is basically unpublished, since I did in fact delete all the words and replace them with others.)
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But yes, I think that response was ableist. I also think that one of the problems was that I lacked the ability as a writer to write the book I had wanted to write. It is hard to do things when you don’t have a simple blueprint or ninety examples.
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This is a broader problem of systemic ableism: if people are only rarely encountering what neurodivergence looks like, you’re simultaneously figuring out the rules for how to write about while also world-building the interior of a mind that people haven’t often seen.
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Anyone who is writing about their marginalized identity, is going to have to actually work harder and be better at their job than others. And that is a systemic thing that is happening.
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I do not see any way to change that systemic thing other than to do the work consistently and well, so that this interior world-building that we are doing becomes familiar and welcome to publishing at large.
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So that’s the downside. The upside is this: I know a whole fuckload of neurodivergent authors of all stripes. Honestly, there are probably some neurotypical authors out there but if there are, very few of them have made it into any of my close friend circles.
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I think there are some advantages I have as a neurodiverse individual in publishing. 1) I have spent more time trying to figure out why the heck people are doing the shit they’re doing than most neurotypical people, which helps me build characters.
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2) I do not process risks and rewards the way other people do, which makes me wildly suited toward publishing.
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When people tried to discourage me from pursuing a fickle career in publishing, instead of saying, “well, you are right, let’s stick with a good stable income,” I thought, “you think that, but actually, you do not know that it is all meaningless.”
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