Guys. I’m so tired. The Florida Virtual Curriculum is always bad but today it is TESTING ME. A thread:
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First up, you have this pointlessly anodyne version of The Boy Who Cried Wolf, wherein the boy doesn’t get eaten, thus removing the actual narrative incentive of needing help from danger.pic.twitter.com/ZUxvH9wuJ2
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THEN we have a “retelling” of The Three Billy Goats Gruff which, for reasons I do not understand, is now all about recycling. Like. You did not need to ape a fairy tale to tell a recycling story! WHY IS THIS WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT IS THE POINT.pic.twitter.com/0dpww8Bq9P
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I can feel the will to live physically leaving my body, you guys.pic.twitter.com/NTyYwtLoj3
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The thing is, though. Because the FVC is so committed to removing any hint of conflict or feeling from its stories, there is nothing here to analyse - but that’s what they want the kids to do.pic.twitter.com/HXfaXlbvxj
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And I just. Angering the troll does not classify as a “problem,” narratively speaking, because it’s not something the characters have to overcome! They are not threatened by him! Their encounter is an *event* at best! THIS IS NOT HOW STORIES OR ANALYSIS WORKSpic.twitter.com/BY5DHBabmM
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And then. AND THEN. We go through to a quiz about the story we just read WHERE THE POLLUTING GOATS FROM, QUOTE, “THE EAST SIDE” WHOSE LITTERING MAKES THEIR NEIGHBOURHOOD DIRTY HAVE MAGICALLY BECOME A TRIO OF BLACK CHILDREN ARE YOU *FUCKING* KIDDING ME WITH THIS RACIST NONSENSEpic.twitter.com/kFOR8ajpdK
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What I assume happened here is that the original version of the story was the racist one, and some lone voice of reason was like “hey, maybe we could Not do that,” so they commissioned new artwork but forgot to change which version appeared in the appended quiz. And I just.pic.twitter.com/jJZ4nShJuN
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We proceed to the next part of the quiz, where we have yet ANOTHER pointlessly anodyne story. You guys, I am a grown-ass professional writer and even I could not guess which of these was going to be the “central message,” but my 8yo got it right at least. But like -pic.twitter.com/173Xegburu
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Replying to @fozmeadows
The question is wrong. They want to know the main topic.
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Yes - but arguably, all of those answers could qualify.
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