I HAVE BEEN ENABLED, PREPARE FOR A GAY HOCKEY THREADhttps://twitter.com/fozmeadows/status/1352872943617884160 …
-
-
The Calgary Flames - straight-passing but intensely closeted, with strong notes of daddy issues and/or kink.
Show this thread -
The Winnipeg Jets - straight verging into bicurious, but only because of Adam Lowry; otherwise the straight gremlin vibes that Laine is giving off are dominant.
Show this thread -
The Toronto Maple Leafs - playfully bi and ready to try, with absolute LASHINGS of praise kink.
Show this thread -
The LA Kings - currently going through a midlife crisis that may or may not involve a torrid affair with the poolboy, but we're not putting labels on anything.
Show this thread -
-
The Las Vegas Golden Knights - what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and what happens in Vegas is a whoooole lotta swinging and gay friends with bennies.
Show this thread -
The Arizona Coyotes - desert gays and thirsty with it. I mean, what else is there to do in Arizona?
Show this thread -
The Edmonton Oilers - gay but in a European arthouse film way where everyone is sad and hot. Connor McDavid's enormous marble house is the kind of metaphor you learn about in movie school, and also Leon Draisaitl is there.
Show this thread -
The Tampa Bay Lightning - straight in the way that brojobs in hotel rooms are straight.
Show this thread -
The Dallas Stars - happy disaster bisexual vibes, and not just because of Tyler Seguin's everything. Europeans, cowboys, dancing on tables - what's not to love?
Show this thread -
The Columbus Blue Jackets - horny on main and willing to explore the Kinsey scale. No teammate, coach or beat reporter is capable of looking at Pierre-Luc Dubois without getting thirsty, and that's just how it is.
Show this thread -
The New Jersey Devils - angrily bisexual and ready to throw hands with the next person who talks about their dry spell.
Show this thread -
The Colorado Avalanche - loving disaster gays entranced by the raw beauty of Gabe Landeskog's cheekbones. Though Tyson "No Filter" Barrie is gone, his legacy lives on in the form of Tyson "Smug Twink" Jost.
Show this thread -
The Florida Panthers - lowkey bi but chill about it right up until the hit the club, at which point all bets are off.
Show this thread -
The Boston Bruins - just a bunch of horny fratboys trying to figure out their sexuality in the absence of Zdeno Chara and the presence of whatever Brad Marchand keeps doing with his tongue.
Show this thread -
The Montreal Canadiens - elitist gays with "no fats/no femmes/no Russians" in their Grindr bio.
Show this thread -
The Nashville Predators - full-on European kinky gay, which is 5% due to Roman Josi's bone structure and 95% due to whatever it is that Pekka Rinne and Juuse Saros have going on.
Show this thread -
The Detroit Red Wings - aggressively kinky bisexuals, up for anything. Dylan Larkin can and will send a "wyd" text at 1am and get Results.
Show this thread -
The New York Rangers - lowkey cosmopolitan gay. Big penthouse, suit kink and martini vibes. Henrik Lundqvist might be on IR but his status as a queer sexual awakening for many remains.
Show this thread -
The New York Islanders - louche flirty dirtbag bisexual vibes. Will eye you up at a party and then blow you in the bathroom.
Show this thread -
The Chicago Blackhawks - straight and rapey until such time as Patrick Kane fucks OFF.
Show this thread -
The Minnesota Wild - straight-passing but actually poly and queer as hell.
Show this thread -
The San Jose Sharks - vocal straight allies who'll wingman for their gay buddies, no problem! Try any slurs and Brent Burns will go full Viking on your ass.
Show this thread -
The Carolina Hurricanes - bisexual with a chip on their shoulder. Routinely forgets the safe and sane parts of safe, sane and consensual because they're trying to prove something, but in, like, a competitive way, not a trauma way, at least thus far.
Show this thread -
AND FINALLY, the Seattle Kraken - still tbd, though the name has very promising monsterfucker vibes.
Show this thread -
THREAD UPDATE: with Laine to the Jackets and Dubois to the Jets, Winnipeg just got thirstier and Columbus just got straighter.
Show this thread - End of conversation
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.