Please enjoy this passage from a famous witch-hunting manual on witches stealing penises.pic.twitter.com/1VWgaerSUY
Author, fanwriter, trash bandit, queer geek feminist, dork. Jack of all pronouns, mxtress of none. Yells about hockey. Aussie in the US.
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Please enjoy this passage from a famous witch-hunting manual on witches stealing penises.pic.twitter.com/1VWgaerSUY
(From Malleus Maleficarum, or The Hammer of Witches, 1486, quoted in Magic and Witchcraft in the West by Frances Timbers)
If you now have a mental image of a nest of penises moving around and eating corn and chirrupping like baby birds, welcome to my head.
I am CRYING a fuckin priest so clearly wrote this like “yeah bro I can’t take the priest’s dick he’s hung af” (also I have a full copy of the malleus maleficarum so I’m gonna look this up) 


I KNOW. You could unpick this all day. The unsubtle metaphors of the box or nest trapping the penis. The climbing a tree to get it back. The parish priest having the biggest one I am howling
the priest who wrote this, channeling self insert fanfic energies 600 years too early bc he’s pissed at this one fuckin protochad who keeps boasting about all the women he bones: Priests Have Big Dicks, Actually
My Dick's So Big You Aren't Allowed To Touch It. (And My Girlfriend Goes To Another School, You Don't Know Her.)
I read this and my brain immediately came up with I’m Dating God But He Gave Me A Hall Pass
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