The Florida Virtual Curriculum, which my school is using, has replaced actual fairytales with godawful milquetoast versions that it’s nonetheless saying are fairytales and I am SCREAMING. Come with me on a journey. Here is what they have done to Hansel and Gretel: a thread.
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Hansel and Gretel, for reasons that I cannot begin to fathom, is now called JESSE AND KAYLEE.pic.twitter.com/xB5no26XT5
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No situating context, no abandonment in the woods by parents! Just, here is an edible house!pic.twitter.com/jFBwYSirhs
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The house is edible, but a regular lady lives there, not a witch! And she’s baking apple pie; because MURIKA.pic.twitter.com/t7N8O7S6op
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She’s not even a cannibal! She’s just some weird lady who wants to lock them indoors for some reason.pic.twitter.com/udEQMgy0Dt
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Oh. Oh, she wants them to bake. OH THE HORROR.pic.twitter.com/SX92X1PyKn
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THEY JUST ASK TO GO GET FLOUR AND SHE LETS THEM GO, THIS MAKES NO SENSE AND I HATE EVERYTHING.pic.twitter.com/7mx6gUP8ZX
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OH LOOK, A NICE NEAT MORAL THAT TOTALLY FITS THE “STORY” WE JUST “READ”.pic.twitter.com/piEpRfKAJP
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I AM GOING TO FIND WHOEVER WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ATROCITY AND SMACK THEM UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A FISH
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This is exactly what I was thinking of. This sketch has always been one of my favourites.
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