The Florida Virtual Curriculum, which my school is using, has replaced actual fairytales with godawful milquetoast versions that it’s nonetheless saying are fairytales and I am SCREAMING. Come with me on a journey. Here is what they have done to Hansel and Gretel: a thread.
-
-
THEY JUST ASK TO GO GET FLOUR AND SHE LETS THEM GO, THIS MAKES NO SENSE AND I HATE EVERYTHING.pic.twitter.com/7mx6gUP8ZX
Show this thread -
OH LOOK, A NICE NEAT MORAL THAT TOTALLY FITS THE “STORY” WE JUST “READ”.pic.twitter.com/piEpRfKAJP
Show this thread -
I AM GOING TO FIND WHOEVER WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ATROCITY AND SMACK THEM UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A FISH
Show this thread -
IT WOULD BE ONE THING TO SANITISE A FAIRYTALE BUT KEEP IT A FAIRYTALE, BUT THESE NEW VERSIONS *ARE NOT FAIRYTALES* AND THEY DON’T MAKE NARRATIVE SENSE. YOU CANNOT TEACH KIDS BASIC LITERARY ANALYSIS USING STORIES THIS BAD!
Show this thread -
Dear
@catvalente,@seananmcguire and@UrsulaV, please join me in SCREAMING INTO THE VOID at this crime against fairytales.Show this thread
End of conversation
New conversation -
-
-
Poor kids, the mean old lady wanted to hold the brats accountable.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
-
-
The moral of this story is that grown ups always lie, right? Because she invited them in for food, then lost her shit that they ate the food she offered them? Man, Halloween this year would be wild if trick and treating was still actually a thing...
-
It's an allegory for how the Boomers built up the economy, promised their kids it would keep being amazing, then burned it to the ground and kept all the dividends.
- Show replies
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.