Hansel and Gretel, for reasons that I cannot begin to fathom, is now called JESSE AND KAYLEE.pic.twitter.com/xB5no26XT5
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Hansel and Gretel, for reasons that I cannot begin to fathom, is now called JESSE AND KAYLEE.pic.twitter.com/xB5no26XT5
No situating context, no abandonment in the woods by parents! Just, here is an edible house!pic.twitter.com/jFBwYSirhs
The house is edible, but a regular lady lives there, not a witch! And she’s baking apple pie; because MURIKA.pic.twitter.com/t7N8O7S6op
She’s not even a cannibal! She’s just some weird lady who wants to lock them indoors for some reason.pic.twitter.com/udEQMgy0Dt
THEY JUST ASK TO GO GET FLOUR AND SHE LETS THEM GO, THIS MAKES NO SENSE AND I HATE EVERYTHING.pic.twitter.com/7mx6gUP8ZX
OH LOOK, A NICE NEAT MORAL THAT TOTALLY FITS THE “STORY” WE JUST “READ”.pic.twitter.com/piEpRfKAJP
I AM GOING TO FIND WHOEVER WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS ATROCITY AND SMACK THEM UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH A FISH
IT WOULD BE ONE THING TO SANITISE A FAIRYTALE BUT KEEP IT A FAIRYTALE, BUT THESE NEW VERSIONS *ARE NOT FAIRYTALES* AND THEY DON’T MAKE NARRATIVE SENSE. YOU CANNOT TEACH KIDS BASIC LITERARY ANALYSIS USING STORIES THIS BAD!
Dear @catvalente, @seananmcguire and @UrsulaV, please join me in SCREAMING INTO THE VOID at this crime against fairytales.
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