Ever since the start of virtual school, my 7yos English work has revolved around a story called Molly Makes A Difference, about a manatee called Molly who stops speedboats from speeding in shallow water in Florida by putting up posters telling them not to. I have... Questions.
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My 7yo, bright lad that he is, identified the main problem right away: How can a manatee make posters? Like, if they were posters *for other manatees,* sure, I can suspend my disbelief. But it’s a manatee making posters FOR HUMANS TO READ, which. Hm.
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Like, this is one of the most basic unspoken rules of children’s books! Animals can talk to each other, or maybe to a select child, but they don’t just talk to humans unless you’re in a secondary world or alternate/magic setting where that’s the whole point!
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Also, IT’S A MANATEE. IT LIVES UNDERWATER. Even if you want me to believe it can talk, it still can’t make posters in the goddamn ocean! They don’t have a Kinko’s down there!
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This story is driving me NUTS, you guys. It’s meant to be teaching them how to ask questions of stories and analyse their content AND THEY CAN’T ASK THE MOST BASIC QUESTIONS, LIKE WHERE A FUCKING MANATEE GETS PAPER.
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I wouldn’t care so much, but they’ve been. Analysing. And referring. To this ONE GODDAMN STORY. For THREE WEEKS. Across different modules. They are using it as the lynchpin for everything and it is Bad.
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Also, listen. I have never been to Florida but I have a strong suspicion that asshole speedboat drivers do not give a shit about about posters saying “hey, shallow water, watch out for the manatees!”
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There’s this whole module about how Molly makes a difference in her community to teach them about volunteering and stuff, and I’m just. You could’ve picked any story! You could’ve had an actual child doing a realistic thing and used that as your example! But no: POSTER MANATEE.
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A quick google search shows there is an actual published - but UNRELATED - book called Molly the Manatee, so on top of everything else this dumb story is half plagiarised from someone else’s actual work. Lovely.
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Like honestly, a manatee making posters is objectively hilarious, I want to be cackling at this but I’m having to work through all the manatee-adjacent models while helping my kid and it is, shall we say, Wearing On My Sense Of Humour.
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In conclusion: OH, THE HUMANATEE
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