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fozmeadows's profile
Foz Meadows
Foz Meadows
Foz Meadows
@fozmeadows

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Foz Meadows

@fozmeadows

Author, fanwriter, trash bandit, queer geek feminist, dork. Jack of all pronouns, mxtress of none. Yells about hockey. Aussie in the US.

Irvine, CA
fozmeadows.wordpress.com
Joined February 2009

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    1. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      They're not REALLY thinking, "Wow, I could get to know this woman over a period of days or weeks and then, if we feel the same way, maybe I could ask her out." They're thinking, "holy shit, maybe I can have sex in a hotel room!" or "oh wow, BOOBS. Gotta comment!"

      2 replies 29 retweets 873 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      You know how I know this? Because THAT'S HOW IT BECOMES A PATTERN. Someone doing serial monogamy with people they just so happen to meet at cons? Not a creep. Someone who looks forward to cons because they KNOW they'll be approached by more women than otherwise? CREEP.

      1 reply 37 retweets 949 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      Because what these guys then fall into the habit of doing, whether they consciously realise it or not, is viewing the women they meet at cons primarily as potential sexual conquests and/or ego-candy, NOT AS POTENTIAL PEERS. But they're still *nice guys,* so it can't be an issue!

      2 replies 42 retweets 971 likes
      Show this thread
    4. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      Which is why they react with outrage, distress and/or hostility the first time they get called on it. What, can't a guy be interested in a woman AT ALL without being yelled at? They don't want to admit that they're taking advantage of a professional setting to be personally gross

      1 reply 45 retweets 960 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      - and unless they sit the fuck down, do some serious self-reflection, apologise and actively work to be better? THIS is when they start trying to cut the women who "can't handle a joke" and "don't have a sense of humour" out of their professional circles.

      2 replies 36 retweets 983 likes
      Show this thread
    6. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      It might not even be a conscious thing (after all, you're not doing anything wrong! that person is just being judgemental and harsh, and you don't want to call them out and make it, like, a THING, you're a Nice Guy who likes feminism! you just... don't wanna talk to them, either)

      1 reply 15 retweets 701 likes
      Show this thread
    7. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      but that's how the pattern starts. They start to cultivate the fans and industry peers around them at cons as potential hookup pools, and tell themselves they're just enjoying the right not to be criticised while they're having fun.

      3 replies 19 retweets 689 likes
      Show this thread
    8. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      From there, it's a short step to thinking it's funny to piss off "that kind of person" by overtly joking grossly to make them go away faster; to learning behavioural shortcuts to insure the greatest number of potential hookups to fewest number of critics.

      1 reply 20 retweets 727 likes
      Show this thread
    9. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      And suddenly it's been years, and this established dude has completely forgotten what it's like NOT to be surrounded by eager, interested women at cons; it might not happen elsewhere in his life, but that only cements cons as The Best Time For Hookups instead of pro events.

      1 reply 18 retweets 723 likes
      Show this thread
    10. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      As he grows in influence, he doesn't consider that the women flocking to him want or have careers of their own; after all, they're there for HIM. There's no impropriety; it's not like he's *forcing* them or anything. He's only cultivating the people he has around him, that's all.

      1 reply 21 retweets 730 likes
      Show this thread
      Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      And meanwhile, all those women who he upsets, ignores, or fucks and dumps, and never considers as peers or future peers or equals - those women talk to each other. They steadily realise they're not alone; they form networks. They warn others. And then, eventually - they speak.

      1:25 AM - 25 Jun 2020
      • 60 Retweets
      • 1,198 Likes
      • Flor - Angst Bard 🏴 An Owlbear Edwardo Lobo 🍰𝕄𝕒𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕠𝕟🍰(Im sleep, GO AWAY!!!) Nemo The Lady Red- the night is dark and full of terror Nym scootti frutti Trek Fan
      22 replies 60 retweets 1,198 likes
        1. ring-a-don't-dillo‏ @unquinnish 25 Jun 2020
          Replying to @fozmeadows

          Thank you for this thread.

          0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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        1. Ethan Fox | indie gamedev  🎮 🕹️ ✍️ ⚖️ 🦅‏ @By_Ethan_Fox 25 Jun 2020
          Replying to @fozmeadows

          Loved this thread.

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        1. New conversation
        2. Monboddo (“No Planet B”)‏ @monboddo777 25 Jun 2020
          Replying to @fozmeadows

          @threadreaderapp unroll this worthy thread pls

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Thread Reader App‏ @threadreaderapp 25 Jun 2020
          Replying to @monboddo777

          Hola, the unroll you asked for: @fozmeadows: So hey: for any straight dudes in SFF right now who are genuinely wondering why making sexually loaded… https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1276050415662972928.html … See you soon. 🤖

          0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        4. End of conversation
        1. RonMotta‏ @RonMotta 25 Jun 2020
          Replying to @fozmeadows

          Best advice I ever received early on in my career: if you're at a bar after-hours with coworkers, consider it a work event and behave accordingly. I've extended that to people in your own industry.

          0 replies 1 retweet 38 likes
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        1. David B. Coe‏ @DavidBCoe 25 Jun 2020
          Replying to @fozmeadows

          Really terrific thread.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. JD Blackrose, M.A., (She/Her)‏ @JDBlackrose 25 Jun 2020
          Replying to @fozmeadows

          There's also the alcohol. The underlying whisper of depression, PTSD, anxiety, self-doubt, imposter syndrome, all coated w/a slick, lubricating (lying) but enabling layer of liquor.

          0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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        1. New conversation
        2. Fonda Lee‏ @FondaJLee 25 Jun 2020
          Replying to @fozmeadows

          Foz, please consider turning this thread into an article. It needs to be published and become required reading for everyone entering the industry.

          1 reply 1 retweet 49 likes
        3. Marianna Whitehurst‏ @mariwhitehurst1 25 Jun 2020
          Replying to @FondaJLee @fozmeadows

          The workforce. At large. This thread is true I’m SO many industries

          0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        4. End of conversation
        1. Ole A. Imsen‏ @Weirdmage 25 Jun 2020
          Replying to @fozmeadows

          Excellent thread. I agree with all of it.

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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