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fozmeadows's profile
Foz Meadows
Foz Meadows
Foz Meadows
@fozmeadows

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Foz Meadows

@fozmeadows

Author, fanwriter, trash bandit, queer geek feminist, dork. Jack of all pronouns, mxtress of none. Yells about hockey. Aussie in the US.

Irvine, CA
fozmeadows.wordpress.com
Joined February 2009

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    1. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      Then, suddenly, they become A Name in their profession, and women at cons want to talk to them! More potential female attention than they've ever had before, from women who appreciate all the stuff they have a chip on their shoulder about women not liking in highschool!

      2 replies 20 retweets 824 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      And these guys think, "It's not creeping if I hit on these women, because THEY'RE the ones approaching ME! It's not gross if they're genuinely interested in me and my writing, because I'm not doing a cold approach - I'm just reacting to their vibe!"

      1 reply 23 retweets 861 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      See, the dude in this moment either forgets or ignores that he's at a professional event. Outside of panels, SFF cons don't often feel professional in the way that most jobs we have to work otherwise do. They feel like fun! Everyone is an equal! Except:

      1 reply 27 retweets 905 likes
      Show this thread
    4. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      - the only reason they're being approached so openly in such numbers IS BECAUSE OF THEIR PROFESSIONAL STANDING. Any overtures of friendship here are coming in at least a semi-professional capacity, not because you clicked the magic button and your Tinder wishlist sprang to life.

      1 reply 30 retweets 1,008 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      But still, these guys think, "But maybe I really like this girl, huh? Why should I miss out on a potential awesome relationship just because we're at a con?" Except, outside of this justification, they're not thinking about a relationship. The timeframe's too brief.

      1 reply 23 retweets 792 likes
      Show this thread
    6. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      They're not REALLY thinking, "Wow, I could get to know this woman over a period of days or weeks and then, if we feel the same way, maybe I could ask her out." They're thinking, "holy shit, maybe I can have sex in a hotel room!" or "oh wow, BOOBS. Gotta comment!"

      2 replies 29 retweets 873 likes
      Show this thread
    7. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      You know how I know this? Because THAT'S HOW IT BECOMES A PATTERN. Someone doing serial monogamy with people they just so happen to meet at cons? Not a creep. Someone who looks forward to cons because they KNOW they'll be approached by more women than otherwise? CREEP.

      1 reply 37 retweets 949 likes
      Show this thread
    8. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      Because what these guys then fall into the habit of doing, whether they consciously realise it or not, is viewing the women they meet at cons primarily as potential sexual conquests and/or ego-candy, NOT AS POTENTIAL PEERS. But they're still *nice guys,* so it can't be an issue!

      2 replies 42 retweets 971 likes
      Show this thread
    9. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      Which is why they react with outrage, distress and/or hostility the first time they get called on it. What, can't a guy be interested in a woman AT ALL without being yelled at? They don't want to admit that they're taking advantage of a professional setting to be personally gross

      1 reply 45 retweets 960 likes
      Show this thread
    10. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      - and unless they sit the fuck down, do some serious self-reflection, apologise and actively work to be better? THIS is when they start trying to cut the women who "can't handle a joke" and "don't have a sense of humour" out of their professional circles.

      2 replies 36 retweets 983 likes
      Show this thread
      Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

      It might not even be a conscious thing (after all, you're not doing anything wrong! that person is just being judgemental and harsh, and you don't want to call them out and make it, like, a THING, you're a Nice Guy who likes feminism! you just... don't wanna talk to them, either)

      1:19 AM - 25 Jun 2020
      • 15 Retweets
      • 701 Likes
      • Michael Hassett 💙The Book Rest💙 CathStevenson K Peebles DevilSeiji Jacob Linda Meat Voltron 🐝🍁『V』🍁🐝
      1 reply 15 retweets 701 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

          but that's how the pattern starts. They start to cultivate the fans and industry peers around them at cons as potential hookup pools, and tell themselves they're just enjoying the right not to be criticised while they're having fun.

          3 replies 19 retweets 689 likes
          Show this thread
        3. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

          From there, it's a short step to thinking it's funny to piss off "that kind of person" by overtly joking grossly to make them go away faster; to learning behavioural shortcuts to insure the greatest number of potential hookups to fewest number of critics.

          1 reply 20 retweets 727 likes
          Show this thread
        4. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

          And suddenly it's been years, and this established dude has completely forgotten what it's like NOT to be surrounded by eager, interested women at cons; it might not happen elsewhere in his life, but that only cements cons as The Best Time For Hookups instead of pro events.

          1 reply 18 retweets 723 likes
          Show this thread
        5. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

          As he grows in influence, he doesn't consider that the women flocking to him want or have careers of their own; after all, they're there for HIM. There's no impropriety; it's not like he's *forcing* them or anything. He's only cultivating the people he has around him, that's all.

          1 reply 21 retweets 730 likes
          Show this thread
        6. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 25 Jun 2020

          And meanwhile, all those women who he upsets, ignores, or fucks and dumps, and never considers as peers or future peers or equals - those women talk to each other. They steadily realise they're not alone; they form networks. They warn others. And then, eventually - they speak.

          22 replies 60 retweets 1,198 likes
          Show this thread
        7. End of conversation

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