Even if you DO like shoe shopping, having some random man grin at you and expect you to praise him for his Awesome Powers of Deduction because that was his opening line on seeing that you were a lady, it's still insulting, because it's not ABOUT you at all. It's a stereotype.
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Even if you can't see how what you did or said was hurtful in the moment, recognise that the other person is indeed hurt apologise for it, then SIT DOWN AND THINK ABOUT IT PROPERLY. And unless you truly don't care about hurting people/niceness? Don't do the thing again anyway.
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This is why IMO, "niceness" is distinct from kindness or goodness
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And why being "nice" is highly overrated and shouldn't be anyone's goal in the first place. We should aim to be kind l.
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