And this is fine! Sometimes, we really just need to get something off our chests in a private space. The issue can be large or small: anything from processing grief and trauma to that annoying coworker who chews REALLY GODDAMN LOUD in the neighbouring cubicle.
-
Show this thread
-
But a toxic waste-dump is toxic in the same way bad coping mechanisms and ignorance are toxic: it's a form of lashing out or indulging in behaviour that harms the speaker, but which - critically - the audience is not allowed to address as such.
1 reply 2 retweets 26 likesShow this thread -
Again, I'm speaking as someone with mental health issues - which is also *why* this matters to me. There's a big difference between venting your bad brain gremlins *while acknowledging this is what they are,* to an audience who knows the deal, & treating those gremlins as Valid.
1 reply 11 retweets 52 likesShow this thread -
Example - Vent: My mental health is bad today, it's making me really jealous of the success of others, like I hate everyone who's doing well. Waste Dump: Fuck those people, they're not even GOOD and they're tweeting about their stuff?? THEY SHOULDN'T DO THAT, IT HURTS ME.
2 replies 13 retweets 62 likesShow this thread -
Like I just. I'm finding this really hard to articulate, which is why this thread is taking so long, but I've been online long enough to see countless vent channels treated as blast channels by people who don't stop to think about the emotional energy of listeners.
1 reply 0 retweets 21 likesShow this thread -
Partly (I think) the rise of toxic waste dumps has been aided by better group chat tech, where you can make extra channels set aside for venting, which in turn makes people feel they can be indiscriminate in what they say - because if people get stressed, they can tab out! BUT.
1 reply 1 retweet 22 likesShow this thread -
The ability of the listener to close the vent thread/window/channel while remaining otherwise in the same chat shouldn't constitute carte blanche to spew our worst thoughts at the people who are kind enough to stick around and listen, and I think this gets forgotten a LOT.
1 reply 1 retweet 22 likesShow this thread -
I also think (additional hot take incoming) that the parallel rise in salt as thing to indulge in and share, again often in the same sort of semi-separate space, is fuelling the unconscious idea that giving in to our worst mental impulses and petty jealousies is cool and fun.
1 reply 2 retweets 24 likesShow this thread -
Like, not to go to deep on the synonym-slang angle, but salt is a condiment you use *sparingly* - too much of it ruins the meal, and as an accident with a salt-shaker and my uncle's otherwise excellent bolognese can attest, too TOO much will literally make a person sick.
1 reply 2 retweets 23 likesShow this thread -
I'm not saying don't vent to your friends. I'm not even saying that having dark, angry thoughts about stuff is bad or makes you a bad person. But when you share those gremlin-thoughts, you *need* to acknowledge them as such, or show willing to have them labelled by others.
1 reply 1 retweet 24 likesShow this thread
Because if not, you're taking advantage of a social covenant - Arguing With The Venter Makes You An Asshole - to spew your own toxic gremlins onto others, thereby causing upset to the people who are trying to help you feel better.
-
-
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.