So I’m rewatching The Ring for literally the first time since 2002 and right off the bat, my fear is severely diminished by the use of VHS and landline phones as instruments of terror.
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Why the fuck does everyone kneel down in front of the TV to watch the Haunted Movie? Like I know this was 17 years ago but CHAIRS HAD STILL BEEN INVENTED, KAREN
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AN ANSWERING MACHINE This film is an archaeological marvel
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NOT HAVING A CONTROL TRACK NUMBER IS LIKE BEING BORN WITHOUT FINGERPRINTS
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Ah yes, of course she immediately recognises That One Lighthouse In Particular
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Seriously, I watched Aliens the other night and they had dot matrix printers on a space station and IT FELT LIKE THIS
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I FORGOT THAT NOAH IS AIDEN’S DAD WHY DOES THIS POOR GOOD KID HAVE TWO SUCH SHITTY DISTANT PARENTS
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Noah is literally telling his child that he isn’t around because his own dad was disappointing and he doesn’t want to be that, like. Get a fucking therapist?? You goddamn CHOAD, I can’t remember if you die but you highkey deserve some Comeuppance
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I call this horror genre Sad White People Make Bad Decisions In Rain
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OK but for real, don’t just go up to a strange horse in its float and poke at it even if you’re NOT haunted?? THIS IS BASIC COMMON SENSE, PEOPLE
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Ah yes, Anna Morgan, the horsebreeder of morgan horses, a breed that wasn’t named after her but kind of is in this movie because Coincidence, I guess? The coveted Morgan Morgans
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“Do you know what this is?” asks Rachel, holding a completely nondescript VHS rape
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Creepy mirror, hung on the wall / Show me a dead girl and where she did fall
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soooo I guess we’re just gonna move on from the head trauma, huh
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The creepy little barn room is a nice touch, I’d forgotten that
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Building a guest cabin on top of an old well is, of course, a Perfectly Normal thing to do
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I love how this flashback is meant to be like, 1952, but Anna and Samara are dressed like it’s the late 1800s.
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Also love how we get Rachel being more tenderly maternal with a rotting corpse than we’ve seen her be with her son at any point
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Related point, why does the actor playing Noah look like someone made a fusion of Ethan Hawke and the dude from Legally Blonde?
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How does her hair come over the lip of the well ahead of the rest of her?
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