Sports therapist, holding up a photo of the Barclay Centre ice: All right, now show me where in this picture John Tavares hurt you. Dear John Islanders fans, through tears: You can't see it in this one; the seats are obstructed.
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Dear John Isles fans: WE DON'T NEED YOU, JOHN! WE *NEVER* NEEDED YOU! The literal rest of the NHL: Uh. Are you guys okay? Dear John Isles fans:pic.twitter.com/t1wILHivq8
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For real though, if the Isles sound guy doesn't start blasting Bad Blood by TSwift the *second* Tavares sets foot on the ice for warmups, then that is a goddamn WASTED OPPORTUNITY.
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