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fozmeadows's profile
Foz Meadows
Foz Meadows
Foz Meadows
@fozmeadows

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Foz Meadows

@fozmeadows

Author, fanwriter, trash bandit, queer geek feminist, dork. Jack of all pronouns, mxtress of none. Yells about hockey. Aussie in the US.

Irvine, CA
fozmeadows.wordpress.com
Joined February 2009

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    1. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

      A smallish thread on weight and body image:

      4 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

      So, we've just moved to a place where there's a community pool quite literally around the corner. I was ecstatic about this, because I grew up with a pool while living near the beach and haven't been able to swim regularly since I was seventeen.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      Show this thread
      Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

      This also means that the two swimming costumes I have right now are both hand-me-downs from my mother, who is very fit and active. I haven't had much chance to wear them recently - the last time I swam was over a year ago - and my weight has been fluctuating a lot.

      4:50 PM - 4 Aug 2018
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

          I picked out what I wrongly thought was the larger of the two swimsuits. Getting into it was like trying to squeeze myself into the mouth of a juvenile anaconda: I was technically going to fit, but there was some serious compression and a fair bit of swearing involved first.

          1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
          Show this thread
        3. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

          This cossie is also fairly ancient and looks it. A black one-piece with purple straps that are faded to a sort of weird blue-grey, with the fabric stretched thin in places. Not remotely flattering, but at least I knew it was going to stay on.

          2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
          Show this thread
        4. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

          All this being so, I felt self-conscious for the walk to the pool, even with a sundress on over the top. This feeling of self-consciousness increased when we arrived and saw that all the other women present were identically slim, with fashionable bikini tops and boyshorts.

          2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        5. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

          And then I got in the water, and immediately stopped caring, because being in the water felt amazing and blissful. I've lost all my old regular-swimming muscles, but I've still got a good freestyle stroke, so I bashed out a couple of laps and then floated a bit.

          1 reply 1 retweet 8 likes
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        6. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

          The unhelpful part of my brain was still pointing out how much bigger I was that everyone else, but with the water to calm me down, I was able to flip that around and identify this as just one of many differences, so that it came to feel like a random, normal thing.

          1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
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        7. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

          Yes, I was bigger. But I also had short hair instead of long, a one-piece instead of a bikini, wet hair instead of dry, was swimming laps instead of sitting. And I liked those things about myself, not b/c I disliked the other women, but b/c they made me happy.

          2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
          Show this thread
        8. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

          By focusing on positive differences, I was able to turn my self-consciousness about my body around, so that I felt happy to be different - happy to be myself, and what it represented - without having to feel negatively about the people around me, or negative about myself.

          2 replies 2 retweets 11 likes
          Show this thread
        9. Foz Meadows‏ @fozmeadows 4 Aug 2018

          Anyway. It was a small, nice mental change to be able to effect, so I thought I'd share it. FIN.

          2 replies 0 retweets 14 likes
          Show this thread
        10. End of conversation

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