Story 2: Yesterday, my family & I took a nine hour plane trip from Australia to Hawaii, our layover on the way to LA. It was not a full flight; our row had one spare seat, while plenty of four-seat rows had only one passenger - including the bulkhead-facing row in front of ours.
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At the start of the flight, the lone male passenger in the row ahead of us was sitting in front of the unoccupied seat to my right. However, after a conversation with the steward, who pointed out that he had the row to himself, he relocated to the seat in front of me.
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As soon as the plane was properly airborne, this guy - who had an ENTIRE FREE ROW to lie down in if he wanted, and who'd vacated the one seat with nobody behind it - put his seat back as far as it would go and went to sleep, snoring like a chainsaw. He did this the whole flight.
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He did wake up once or twice, to eat and to chat with the steward or adjust his blankets, but the seat stayed back until the plane descended, and when he slept, he snored. Loudly. Which, yeah, people can't always help that, but it was very much salt in the wound in this case.
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Because of him, I had to move seats to the spare one on my right, so that I couldn't talk to my husband and son. He never looked around at us once, nor did the male steward ever point out that he'd chosen the least inconsiderate seat to recline.
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These are two small incidents in the scheme of things, but in combination, they've made me think a lot about how we take up space in the world, and how others perceive our entitlement to that space (or lack thereof).
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See, the thing about the train journey was that, while all the individual *seats* were booked, the cabins at the front were not. Seeing an injured woman in pain struggling to lie flat in a way that inconvenienced others, the conductor might have offered her a cabin. He didn't.
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Instead, he chose to shame her for doing what she needed to do to accommodate her illness, which prompted her friend to come up with a solution instead, where as the conductor on my flight, in response to the same scenario minus any visible injury, did nothing.
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Replying to @fozmeadows
Advice question for you in this subject matter!: I just kept apologizing to the stranger at the bar next to me because he was sitting spread eagle and each time he touched my thigh I’d say sorry. Like, he was airing ‘em out legs spread
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Replying to @wreckoslovakia @fozmeadows
Yet, on my flight to London a guy repeatedly pushed his seat back into my knees until I tapped him on the shoulder and said my height cannot shrink and he was out of luck. Why tf was I more assertive in one situation but not the other??
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At a guess? Because the plane is a controlled, safe context. Dude cannot physically attack you or get fighty without clear repercussion. But a random guy at a bar could blow up at you without any intervention from bystanders.
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