It's 5:43 AM and I'm still up thinking about it. I have a lot of scars on my left arm from over a decade of self-harm. I've come to terms with their existence; no amount of scar cream or makeup has made them look any better. I had a family get-together today.
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I wore a sleeveless dress because it's hot out. And it was a cute green dress anyway. Feeling like a forest creature is great. My extended family is mostly elderly and conservative. The dirty looks I got directly at my bad shoulder wasn't unnoticed.
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These unpleasant faces were from people who never once asked me if I needed help. Never asked me if I wanted to talk about what was going on. I want to think they were confused or didn't understand. But jeez. It hurt.
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I *know* my arm looks gross. It's attached to me. I have to see it every day. But all of those scars were from wounds I inflicted upon myself because I had no other outlet for handling my depression and anxiety or coping with trauma. I didn't do it for "attention."
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So, yeah. Self-harm is a lot bigger and more nuanced than people realize. And I think right now, I'd rather be hot and uncomfortable than have people stare at my arm like that again.
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Vastauksena käyttäjälle @littlestpaladin
I'm sorry that happened to you :( for what it's worth I'm sure your forest creature dress looked amazing on you <33
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