When you feel like committing suicide, you don't long to die.
You long to commit.
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Suicide requires a tremendous commitment; half-assing it leads to horrible misery.
The thing is that you can use the same commitment suicide would require to live life in the way you actually want to.
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If you are contemplating suicide, you already have nothing to lose. Why not go all in on something you truly stand for when you are still alive?