If you want to know whether you really want to do something, observe the effort you put into preparing yourself for doing it. Does it happen kind of by itself? Or do you have to carry your limbs because they’re so hesitant to do it by their own; feeling like they don’t want to?
Conversation
Do you feel butterflies and a thrilling sensation or a shivering, violent sense of turmoil in your stomach accompanied with nausea when thinking about doing it/being there? The former one can be enthusiasm masked as anxiety. The latter can be a warning to change course.
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Your body knows what you 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 want, because it’s inherently a direct part of the 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 you. Listen to it. Trust it.
Don’t listen to your mind here. It just repeats what it’s conditioned to.