HereHoldMyBeer WHILEICONVICTTHEMF

@flyaway_k

Tommy Chong said I was funny on 4/20•Former US Attorney General•I drink, and I smoke things•Sprawling imagination• My tweets bring all the bots to the yard

Your Mom’s house
Vrijeme pridruživanja: studeni 2017.
Rođen/a 12. svibnja

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  1. Poništi
  2. I’d rather read out loud to Jeffrey Dahmer, detailed instructions on how to flambé my nutsack to make it taste like chicken, while nailed to his dining room table, than read the inside cover of your shit smeared on paper. Fuck off Suckabee, now and forever🖕🏼

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  3. U know Doucholini is already on the phone, shouting thru the wrong end, as one does who routinely loses the battle of wits with inanimate objects,like umbrellas & Jared Kushner, at Justin Trudeau that we ain’t buying no more gotdamn syrup until he gives us some dirt on Mayor Pete

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  4. Shout out to razors📢If you haven’t tried them, you just might be missing out! They’re cheaper than most, & you could shave a nuthair off a gnat with those things.

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  5. Next Christmas, the only thing I want more than a Democratic president is a Democratically-appointed attorney general. And if I can’t have either of those, a well-placed meteor strike is my backup wish🤞🏼

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  6. Happy Birthday to the f*cking COOLEST Mom ever. ’s mom! Best cook ever. And hands down my favorite ex-in-law of all time. Happy Birthday Momma Hold My Beer!

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  7. Today is Mom’s 67th birthday. I sure do love this woman 💙

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  8. I’d rather swap livers with Charlie Sheen in a backalley surgery performed by a bathsalting baboon with a spork, & only Roseanne’s sweaty leather thong to bite down on for pain, than hear 2 tattered syllables of Orange Foolius taking his adderall-ternate reality victory fap

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  9. Since we’re already on the subject, how the hell do Arkansas and Kansas both end in Kansas but they don’t both sound like fucking Kansas? These are the things that keep me up at night. Fun Fact: The Chiefs are located in neither of these states.

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  10. The only state Donald Trump knows for sure is dementia.

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  11. This platinum plague president* has been a fucking flop since conception. From the top of his evacuated blimp head, to his floppy shiitake ween, to the bottom of his fake fucking bone spurs. He’s even got a floppy fucking border wall. *You’re forever impeached, motherfucker.

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  12. Soggy swamp-ass mixed with stale Frito-flavored flop sweat clambaked in tanning orangizer with a extra-pungent post-impeachment layer of skunkified desperation

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  13. I can’t see your point of view, because colons are dark and I’m uber-uninterested. I feel like that about sums it up. You’ll pay for this in November, that’s my vow.

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  14. Pat Cippolone is the Rudy Giuliani of Alan Dershowitz’s. And I don’t even know that the fuck that means.

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  15. What happens when this newly expanded & brazenly unrestrained view of executive power falls into the hands of an equally sinister & superlatively literate autocrat-in-democracy’s clothing, who can SELL the lies, grabs the reins, & uses Trump’s bully-template to raw-dog the world?

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  16. I took a few days off. I trust we’re still in a state of what-the-whole-entire-fuck-is-happening right now? Ok then, glad we’re all caught up😎🍺

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  17. Free the titties Burn the bras Fuck the police

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  18. Also maybe could trend

    Prikaži ovu nit
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  19. Prikaži ovu nit
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  20. I say we lock Tim Apple & Elon Rocket in a room alone together with unlimited weed and booze and not let them out until they figure out how to send Kumquat Balloonknot into eternal orbit around Uranus.

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