i only brake for pedestrians in the aldi parking lot. good luck to everyone else
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megan thee stallions twerk wind
@fingerlump
while you’ll be seeking, i’ll be gleeking.
Joined June 2019
megan thee stallions twerk wind’s Tweets
me: wow i’m really enjoying this lovely meal and feeling so grateful for my family and loved ones🥰
my face:
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every white person in the world is at the kalamazoo farmers market
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zach: i had peas three times last week.
me: …thats a lot
zach: yeah, for peas.
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lady gaga has so many songs about masturbation. honestly so true
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me: i think i want to run a half marathon
my mom: a half marathon? your ass is too fat
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do you think the fact that i kind of want to run a half marathon indicates that i am more or less depressed than i used to be?
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do you think the fact that i kind of want to run a half marathon indicates that i am more or less depressed than i used to be?
- more44.2%
- less55.8%
43 votesFinal results
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i want to get a frankenstein tattoo but in a “i was suicidal and queer in high school” way and not a “scorned white woman” way
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why have we as a society become afraid of casting ugly men as leads in rom coms
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if you ever ask what's going on in my head it's this
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jad to me: i feel like you would enjoy a man who you could kick very easily.
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we are currently in the DEI building at wmu and zach just told me “i agree that trader joes should keep calling their asian food line ‘trader ming’s”
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Taurus szn starts tomorrow, the rest of you zodiacs signs will never be anybody. Bye.
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the next random man who approaches me in public i'm genuinely going to tell them how ugly i think they are to their face since they want to talk to me so bad
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every day i fucking go outside i get harassed by men. on the street when i'm walking to work. on the street when i'm walking home. when i'm sitting in the library minding my business. there's no punchline to this tweet i'm just fucking tired.
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netflix adding zach stone is gonna be famous.... never thought i would live to see the day
$1.50 hot dogs at costco are why im proud to be an american
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jad to me: every day i see you become a little more disappointed in me.
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ok semi-false alarm she told me that her assistant actually wrote and published this and that she’s actually getting a new assistant in a couple months LOL
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good morning! the white woman marketing manager for face off has been spelling aleshea harris’ name wrong on all marketing (i just corrected her) and just spelled my last name wrong despite her also legitimately copying and pasting my bio 
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i’m tired of being microaggressed and expected to be nice and gracious about it. if you’re being fucking dumb i should be able to treat you as such
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good morning! the white woman marketing manager for face off has been spelling aleshea harris’ name wrong on all marketing (i just corrected her) and just spelled my last name wrong despite her also legitimately copying and pasting my bio 🫶🏼
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i have to be the most attentive person during the pre takeoff safety presentation for some reason
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hello i saw thanksgiving play and told i love her and she SMILED at me so this will be my last tweet before i respectfully pass away. thank you d’arcy and larissa fasthorse and god
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autumns listening to the catching fire audiobook in the shower
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lukia waiting for me to leave her house so she can finally watch her white people tv shows
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