Opens profile photo
Follow
Click to Follow figgled
Deirdre
@figgled
john stamos won't return my emails
www.instagram.com/fidgefiggled.substack.comJoined March 2009
2,591 Following
64.4K Followers

Deirdre’s Tweets

Deirdre
@figgled
A product labelled ‘guilt-free’ is not authorised to tell me how much guilt I can feel
3
65
Deirdre Retweeted
matt
@mattxiv
great day to share some of my fav pics of princess diana hanging out and shaking hands w AIDS patients at a time when the disease was so stigmatized, nurses would leave trays of food outside of patients’ rooms for fear of catching it via touch
Image
Image
Image
Image
374
190.6K
Show this thread
Deirdre
@figgled
Me watching a movie for the 193rd time when the protagonist encounters a setback: AW god no shitting fuck i hope they’ll be okay 🥺
2
81
Deirdre
@figgled
Jobseeker hasn’t been enough to live on for years but especially now it’s time to #Raisetherate
Quote Tweet
ACOSS
@ACOSS
ACOSS's firm view is that JobSeeker, Youth Allowance and related payments are inadequate for all. We must #RaisetheRate to at least $76 a day so that people can cover the basics. A 🧵- comments attributable to @cassandragoldie 1/5
Show this thread
34
Deirdre
@figgled
Did anyone else who was young in the 90s think life would have way more mice with ears on their back
18
295
Deirdre
@figgled
Streaming services hate words like ‘comedy’ and ‘horror’ so we are forced to choose genres like ‘laugh your face out’ and ‘spookapalooza’
4
212
Deirdre
@figgled
I reckon if John C Reilly knew how much I wanted him to be my dad he would contact the authorities
7
111
Deirdre
@figgled
When I hold someone else’s phone i unconsciously act like it’s a bomb. Careful… different buttons… I may just blow this goddam earth to pieces
3
135
Deirdre
@figgled
Whenever I rewatch Arrested Development I’m like ‘oh no what if this is the time I discover I’ve seen it too many times’. But it never is
9
370
Deirdre
@figgled
Watching a TV show and jeez Louise…. it’s just predicament after predicament with this guy….
6
125
Deirdre
@figgled
if someone sends you a meme and you've already seen it do you acknowledge you've seen it
  • yes (rude)
    36.9%
  • no (considerate)
    63.1%
1,183 votesFinal results
25
12
Deirdre
@figgled
When I was little I opened the Bible to see what all the fuss was about and it was just a bunch of guys begatting each other
6
176
Deirdre
@figgled
Working as a party bus driver and using the speaker every 20 minutes to itemise my life regrets
6
79
Deirdre
@figgled
Where’s that tweet about one of your followers joining in on a conversation and you’re like do not disgrace me like this
6
52
Deirdre
@figgled
In 2016 I was actually social, pretending I was okay, then had a huge breakdown :)
Image
Image
Image
Image
Quote Tweet
beer slag
@beerslag
U don’t know someone till Uve seen what their vibe was in 2016
Show this thread
2
113
Deirdre
@figgled
What’s black and white and reed all over?…. A newspaper covered in reeds. Maybe it was in a lake. Anyway
3
93
Deirdre
@figgled
I’m on Instagram @ fidge if people are leaving here btw 🦐 the prawn is unrelated, I just think he’s nice
2
59
Deirdre
@figgled
trying on shoes is so embarrassing. hopping about like a toddler while some 25 year old goes 'how do those feel?' Feels humiliating cheers
1
154
Deirdre
@figgled
Vapes? Cute. I prefer chewing tobacco, no matter how much it makes my tummy hurt, I eat heaps. Because im an adult
1
60