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ferretthimself's profile
Ferrett Steinmetz
Ferrett Steinmetz
Ferrett Steinmetz
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@ferretthimself

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Ferrett SteinmetzVerified account

@ferretthimself

Writer of FLEX/THE FLUX/FIX. THE SOL MAJESTIC, my time-travelling Wes-Anderson-Meets-The-Fifth-Element soup battle novel, is available for presale now.

Rocky River, OH
theferrett.com
Joined May 2009

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    1. Ferrett Steinmetz‏Verified account @ferretthimself Apr 26

      Ferrett Steinmetz Retweeted Frisco Uplink

      The "toxic masculinity" nobody talks about is how men inoculate themselves from non-sexual interactions with women, and thus never discover that a lot of what men tell each other that women want is complete bullshit.https://twitter.com/_danilo/status/989176070460133378 …

      Ferrett Steinmetz added,

      Frisco Uplink @_danilo
      My friends who are straight women: - are divorcing with glee and relief and exhaustion - or despair at ever getting married because all the dudes they’re meeting ain’t shit something is falling apart: men’s standards for themselves are collapsing, while women’s grow https://twitter.com/girlziplocked/status/989161385471901696 …
      Show this thread
      1 reply 23 retweets 69 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Ferrett Steinmetz‏Verified account @ferretthimself Apr 26

      I mean, like, some women DO want six-pack abs and $500k in the bank account. You'll always find partners with that. But lots of women, and attractive ones, want men who make them laugh, who participate in emotional labor, who have interesting insights. There's lots of paths.

      2 replies 1 retweet 18 likes
      Show this thread
      Ferrett Steinmetz‏Verified account @ferretthimself Apr 26

      But the incel movement is an incredible act of retrocranial inversion, because they got told the rules of getting women (rules told and fetishized by other guys) - and when those rules don't work, they get furious at the women instead of changing their approach.

      10:52 AM - 26 Apr 2018
      • 2 Retweets
      • 14 Likes
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      2 replies 2 retweets 14 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Ferrett Steinmetz‏Verified account @ferretthimself Apr 26

          And then, because all they TALK to is other men, their goal of "finding a woman" ultimately melds into "impressing other men," and so they obsess with finding the perfect woman that signals their masculine triumph - and price themselves out of the market.

          1 reply 0 retweets 16 likes
          Show this thread
        3. Ferrett Steinmetz‏Verified account @ferretthimself Apr 26

          (Note: I'm a pudgy, bug-eyed depressive polyamorous with a wife and other lovers, so my take is "If I can do it, anyone can." But I get dates-sometimes with classically beautiful people-because my desires aren't influenced by a struggle to get the perceived Lamborghini of women.)

          1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
          Show this thread
        4. Ferrett Steinmetz‏Verified account @ferretthimself Apr 26

          AND ALL OF THIS COULD BE SOLVED IF THESE DUDES TALKED TO WOMEN WHEN THEY WEREN'T TRYING TO FUCK THEM. If they didn't consider female conversation without sex to be a waste of time. They'd learn what women actually wanted instead of hand-me-down machismo stereotypes.

          1 reply 4 retweets 24 likes
          Show this thread
        5. Ferrett Steinmetz‏Verified account @ferretthimself Apr 26

          That's what this form of toxic masculinity ultimately leads to: walling yourself off from experiences that don't match your perceived goal. A big circle-jerk where you'd rather deny your own sexual desire than change your mind. It'd be sad if it wasn't arrogantly self-inflicted.

          1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes
          Show this thread
        6. Ferrett Steinmetz‏Verified account @ferretthimself Apr 26

          As it is, the best advice I can give to men looking to hook up is to look for friendships first, regardless of sex. Because women friends will give you new perspectives, sometimes introduce you around, broaden your knowledge of the many ways women of all kinds want to be wooed.

          1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
          Show this thread
        7. Ferrett Steinmetz‏Verified account @ferretthimself Apr 26

          Or you can stick to your "I AM AT LEAST A 7 ON THE ATTRACTIVENESS SCALE AND WILL SETTLE FOR NOTHING BUT A 7.5." Which fucks up twice: 1) Most women don't like being rated; 2) Your attraction isn't an objective quality, but is determined by each person who interacts with you.

          1 reply 0 retweets 16 likes
          Show this thread
        8. Ferrett Steinmetz‏Verified account @ferretthimself Apr 26

          But the tragedy of the incels is that the people with the least amount of success are most convinced of how this works. And they don't question themselves. They just get furious that the world doesn't magically contort to their will.

          1 reply 1 retweet 19 likes
          Show this thread
        9. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2. Jeannette Ng 吳志麗‏ @jeannette_ng May 4
          Replying to @ferretthimself

          It's self perpetuating though. They will point to dudes among their ranks and go oh if XYZ can't get a woman then I who look objectively worse than him and/have smaller penis than him can never succeed and this is something no amount of ballroom dancing classes can solve.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Jeannette Ng 吳志麗‏ @jeannette_ng May 4
          Replying to @jeannette_ng @ferretthimself

          I fear many have heard this sort of advice as there is a rich vein of mocking it as delusional. That ballroom dancing classes won't fix whatever hardwired self perceived fault of theirs. Their paradigm comes with rebuttals.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. End of conversation

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