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Some say the key to happiness is the absence of desire, but that never made any sense to me. To be happy and fulfilled you need goals, challenges. The absence of desire is indistinguishable from death.
If you ask me, the key to happiness is self-direction, control over your life. The ability to pick your own challenges and achieve them. Challenges where you can express the true extent of your potential -- because that's what fulfillment is: to express the most you could be.
Essentially: the ability to pick a direction for yourself and go maximally far in that direction. Then do it again.
I agree to you to a certain extent, but I've also found that goals and desires, by their never-ending, escalating nature, do drive us to comparisons and frustration.
I think that "the absence of desire" of which some speak of is the simple knowledge of breathing in and knowing that wherever you are at a certain point in life, it's ok. It's where you are, so it's where you have to be.
The absence of desire is literally depression.
A lot of the absence of desire trope is a hold over from Stoicism. And the self-determination view is more from the Enlightenment. But I’d probably suggest happiness comes in many forms, colors, and flavors. Leaving it open for each doesnt close doors
I think you have to be able to differentiate yourself from the desire, to say: "Even though I desire something, I am not the desire. I am not defined by my desires. Desires come and go; I stay."
In Buddhism at least the key is absence of desire but in the sense of 'sticky attachment', this certainly doesn't preclude mindful intention and right action, these are key. It's maybe more concerned with re-training self-focused 'higher control networks' so they don't dominate.
Completely agree. "The only things that don't grow are dead things." I didn't say this quote, but I certainly stand by it.
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