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exjon's profile
Jon Gabriel
Jon Gabriel
Jon Gabriel
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@exjon

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Jon GabrielVerified account

@exjon

Undisputed king of stuff. Editor-in-Chief, @Ricochet. Contributor, @azcentral. Host, King of Stuff podcast. IC XC NIKA

Arizona
ricochet.com
Joined October 2008

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    Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

    Just got back from the grocery store. I did not wear a mask. "Foolhardy!" you say? The brave always face such calumny.

    5:28 PM - 4 May 2020
    • 183 Retweets
    • 1,252 Likes
    • Carol Finkenstadt Jillian Weinzapfel Cheesed Hammer Sr. Don Cristiano Sándalo Dane Brammage Walter Watson Egon Alter Cocoa is a dog 🌹🌠🌹Kari🌹🌠🌹
    152 replies 183 retweets 1,252 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        As I strode into the Safeway, a wealthy couple was exiting. The wife glared contempt at her mask-wearing husband. Then stared intently at me as she made a "call me" sign with her free hand.

        12 replies 11 retweets 260 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        I shrugged this off like usual.

        3 replies 5 retweets 160 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        "Wha ... what are you doing, Mr. Gabriel?" the lanky courtesy clerk exclaimed. "Shall I fetch you a mask?"

        1 reply 4 retweets 121 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        "Not this time, Hunter," I grinned. "I'm done with masks. Hand me a sanitized cart, lad."

        3 replies 4 retweets 151 likes
        Show this thread
      6. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        "He's SO cool," said his fellow bag boys as I rolled away with one cart-wheel sticking. "I hear he's a great writer."

        3 replies 4 retweets 178 likes
        Show this thread
      7. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        I hardly entered the produce section when a Colombian supermodel rushed toward me.

        4 replies 3 retweets 137 likes
        Show this thread
      8. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        "You are so very brave, man without mask. My boyfriend very handsome but alway stay en la casa, crying in fear. Only time he leave, he have mask and glove ... like ... how you say ... 'cuck.'"

        6 replies 6 retweets 209 likes
        Show this thread
      9. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        "Esmeralda," (her name was Esmeralda), "don't criticize su novio. Not everyone is yet ready to purchase groceries without a mask. This is only for the bold."

        2 replies 6 retweets 171 likes
        Show this thread
      10. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        She swooned toward my arms, but I still practice social distancing. Her limp body landed betwixt the cantaloupes and bananas with a thud.

        5 replies 8 retweets 235 likes
        Show this thread
      11. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        Each time I started down an aisle, a hush fell. Some looked with disdain. Others, admiration. Children scurried away. A dog howled in the distance.

        10 replies 6 retweets 174 likes
        Show this thread
      12. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        A middle-aged man in a Vikings jersey grabbed his phone (Android, of course) and threatened to report me. "Please do," I uttered. "Say that you would like to report someone not living in fear!" (I saw that on a Facebook meme last week and gave it one of these👍)

        11 replies 5 retweets 235 likes
        Show this thread
      13. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        He returned the phone to his pocket glumly as I headed for the cashier.

        3 replies 3 retweets 106 likes
        Show this thread
      14. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        "Made quite a stir today, chief," Curtis said. "Some things never change," I laughed. Good old Curtis.

        1 reply 4 retweets 125 likes
        Show this thread
      15. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        "I feel like ripping off this dumb mask," Curtis said, "but The Man says he'll fire me if I do."

        1 reply 4 retweets 106 likes
        Show this thread
      16. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        "Keep it on, my brother. I know you're with me in spirit." I offered a kindly smile since people like that sort of thing.

        1 reply 3 retweets 127 likes
        Show this thread
      17. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        (damn, i gotta wrap this up)

        5 replies 3 retweets 100 likes
        Show this thread
      18. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        As I was about to leave, Curtis yelled. "Wait!" He clambered atop his cashier stand. Then slowly, ever so slowly, he removed his mask.

        10 replies 3 retweets 119 likes
        Show this thread
      19. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        Lulu climbed upon her cashier stand. Other cashiers followed. First one, then another. The masks fell that day. Not just physical, but the masks we use to hide, one from another.

        7 replies 3 retweets 149 likes
        Show this thread
      20. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        Customers began a slow clap and thence flowed the tears. Especially from that jerk wearing the Vikings jersey.

        6 replies 4 retweets 154 likes
        Show this thread
      21. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        -- fin --

        37 replies 3 retweets 157 likes
        Show this thread
      22. Jon Gabriel‏Verified account @exjon 4 May 2020

        In story form.https://ricochet.com/754089/the-masks-fell-that-day/ …

        41 replies 29 retweets 207 likes
        Show this thread
      23. End of conversation

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